TIME TO REFUEL!

I've spent the last 2 weeks of the year holidaying. Waking at mid-day, eating lots of food, drinking merrily and visiting family. For the first time in these 2 weeks, my body was propelled to rise at 5am (thanks to the dragonfly like insect that found its way into my room!). I realised it's the 31st of December, last day of the year! It's the time of the year that calls for somber reflection and re-fueling my drive.

All through December, I've tried to reflect on the year. I started to feel like I hadn't set any clear goals at the start of the year. I then looked at my diary and I realised that 2013 was a year of immense growth for me. Towards the end of 2012, I felt I needed a platform to express myself, I started Life Atelier at the start of the year. I set an academic goal and I feel indebted to God for helping me achieve that. I feel undeserving most times but I'm forever thankful for my many blessings. My relationship with family has blossomed. I'm a lot more outspoken, helpful and understanding. I've tried to free my self from the shackles of relationships that undermine me and I'm glad I finally got the courage to let some people go. 

I made a new friend this year. He brought with him two habits he made me imbibe, happiness and contentment. He never fails to point out all my blessings when I start to feel weary and he's helped to teach me the value of so many things my myopic view once thought to be little. I'm very thankful for my friend and I wish him euphoria, always. 

Over the summer, I took a few pictures and did some write-ups. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to re-live my summer through the blog but halfway through, I stopped. I really need to work on my continuity skills. I need to learn to push myself and create work myself and others can appreciate. This is one of my plans for the new year. People often say that new year resolutions are cliché and you shouldn't wait till the new year to change your lifestyle. Whilst I agree with the latter, I don't agree with the former. I believe resolutions help give structure to your year. You set some goals and you don't rest until you are able to tick them off your 'to-achieve' list. I think it's a great success recipe. I'm making a vision board and I hope it serves as the motivation I want it to be. 

I am learning to allow spontaneity and structure co-exist in my life. Structure to achieve my set goals and spontaneity to fuel my young heart (LOL!). I'm excited for the New year. My religion teaches me to be hopeful and have faith, I am currently bustling with these. I am also praying that with the new year comes, sound health and long life for our families. 

I wish you a very prosperous new year.

Love,

Onyi. 

TIME

Last friday night, I got on a train from London to another city & the weekend disappeared. Time swiftly moved past me. I barely have memories from the weekend. It's Monday now, I'm on a train from Central London back home, all that's on my mind is time.
Do I have time enough to juggle everything on my to-do-list? School work, job applications, volunteering, starting a radio show, keeping a detailed diary, making sure all my relationships are in a good place?

I pick up my phone & I call someone at home. I get told that one of the Reverend's whom I think is a shining star has lost his wife to cancer. I think about his children, they are younger than I am. I think about him, I'm sure he's trying not to break down as he has to be a pillar for everyone else to lean on. I think about what time means to him. Time right now must be so slow. Losing a loved one, grieving for days, weeks, months, years. Wondering when you'd see them again or just accepting that they, like time are gone with the wind.

My mind travels back to earlier in the week, sitting in a 2 hour lecture. I pick up my phone and send out a tweet, "The most ruthless lecture, 9-11, no break, no class exercise, just lecturer talking", In the span of that minute, I see a news pop-up, there has just been a plane crash. People who had no clue they were saying their last good-byes have just bid the earth farewell. I try to distract myself because I can't control my wandering thoughts. I keep imagining how much anguish the victims must have experienced. I tell myself again and again to be prepared for whatever life throws at me. In the wake of me garnering my strength, I hear that someone whom I know is a few years younger than my Father and has kids younger than I am has just passed away from a heart attack.

I relapse & then, I call my mum. She confirms the news. We have a talk about life's transience. I walk back to my sit in the library, time does not stop. I expect that the earth will stand still, but it doesn't. We've just lost so many people who had people who were so dependent on them. Is everyone really replaceable? I ponder on.. and then I finally accept that the the earth will never stop rotating, even in the gloomiest of days. I shock myself even more because in a few hours, I continue to live like nothing's changed. Everyone around me is doing the same.

I look at my wrist watch, time is moving at it's normal pace. I still don't have enough time to completely tick-off my to-do list. I'm still burdened with easing into a fast-paced life & more than ever before I'm lost & confused. I just can't grasp the second & minute hands moving around the clock face or even the flow of sand in an hour glass.

NEED FOR SPEED

I've recently moved from Central London to a less busy area. I however still go to school in Central. Whilst in full trot mode to make it on time to my activities of the day, these words were jumbling in my head;

Motion,

Swift movements in my youth.

Rush,

My love for the rush from Adrenaline.

Void of fear,

The closer I am to death, the more I feel alive.

Cynical view on life, 

Belief that I run this race alone. 

For what would life be in retrospect if speed is not a part of my youth? 

I don't want to crave the wild oats in my senility,

Live, love,

Create memories.

Relish in the strength and swiftness of youth. 

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

SOUL THERAPY: A NIGHT WITH NNEKA

Nneka Egbuna, Daalu!

I am still speechless from watching Nneka and her band play last weekend. The message, the depth, the therapy I so desperately needed to bring me back to earth & keep in touch with my humanity.

I'd had a Samson-esque day (Laughs) at the hair salon. Planned to soften & style my hair so I could look cute for the concert but when texturiser was applied to my hair, it fell out from the roots. I got really upset and emotional, I loved my mane! Anyway, I decided to shave three-quater of my hair and keep it moving. Extremely glad my day ended well.

Nneka's sound art isn't mainstream. It's an infusion of so many different genres; Reggae, Hip-hop, Neo-soul, R&B but the most essential part of her art, the part that has had me smitten is the thought-provoking message she conveys. I start to question my-self & my surrounding. I stop pointing fingers because I realise that I too am guilty, I too have been designed to play an essential role in my immediate surrounding. She is very true to her roots. During her performance she pauses and says in Nigeria's pidgin English, "You fit kill the messenger but you no fit kill the message"

Who are we?
Have we embraced civilisation to the extent that we are imprisoned?
How much do we seek freedom? When will we be free?
Are we suffering in silence?
Are our weaknesses our strengths?
Do we know God in solitude? Do we act him in public?
How dare I judge, when I too dwell in sin?

With Nigeria's diversity and capacity, why are we still suffering?
Is recorded history really the truth?
Are we plagued with civilised armed robbers as leaders?
Have our tradition, our love for our fellow country men, properties and resources been evaded & erased?
How long will it take for us to Love Nigeria?

Questions, still unanswered.

Nneka performing Do You Love Me Now

If you haven't ever listened to Nneka's work, I'd recommend her Soul is Heavy Album as a first listen. I decided to start sharing politically inclined work I'd written after listening to this piece of pure genius. Her gift is exceptional and I am extremely glad that I watched her play and saw firsthand how passionate she is about her work. Enjoy!

Love,

Onyi.

HALF OF A YELLOW SUN!!

Finally, the trailer for the movie adaptation of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Half of a yellow sun (One of my favourite books ever) has been released. Some clips from the trailer look a bit too modern for Nigeria in the 1960's & I don't think it has enough of the local flavour but I am still very excited to see the visuals of a piece of work I've pictured in my mind for a long time.
I still wish Nse Ikpe-Etim was cast as Kainene & maybe Genevieve Nnaji as Olanna but it doesn't look like Thandie Newton & Anika Noni Rose did a bad job. Chinwetel Ejiofor delivering a perfect Nigerian accent, Amazing! YES! This is how I always pictured Professor Odenigbo.
I cannot wait for the movie premiere, extremely excited. Finally, the kids get to watch an interesting movie on Nigeria in History class.

Onyi.

ON LIFE: TAKE A DEEP BREATH

I was trying to figure out my bus route today so I got on a bus home. The bus passed through George Street. Now, George Street is important to me because I lived in a flat there with my Grandpa in the summer of 2009. He used to take walks a lot that summer. I remember bumping into him a couple of times on my way back home from playing with friends or being a regular 16 year old (Laughs). That was the last summer I spent with him. I started sixth form at the end of summer and during my half term, he was hospitalised. Every time I went to the hospital to visit, he'd act strong, talk to me about the subjects I'd picked at school and assure me that everything would be fine. He passed away on February 10th the next year, I was SHOCKED. I knew he was ill but I didn't think Grand Daddy could die. I thought to myself, "Has Death no respect?" He'd kept my school report cards from the day I started school but he wasn't going to see me graduate? I was gutted. Ever since the day I found out he'd passed, a phrase has stuck with me and it's "Life is transient"

A group of my friends and I were talking, I told them that I thought I hadn't been my real self since I started university and I think I'd found my real self again. Someone then asked who my real self was, I realised that I'd just said that sentence and I couldn't even explain who my real self was. Another friend came to my rescue and said she thought of my real self as very calm and generally sendless. I think that was a very apt description of the person I am right now. I've been really stressed out lately, occurrences have made me almost question my faith but the phrase that stuck with me that has now become my motto has always come to my rescue. I get upset for 5 minutes and then I get upset at myself for even getting upset in the first place because I've realised finally that nothing majorly life changing has happened to me. I don't have a right to sulk or burden myself with grief or bitterness. 

Thinking of life as transient and unpredictable isn't necessarily the best school of thought though because nowadays when things happen, my first reaction is to take it as it is, for that is life. Breathe in, breathe out, keep it moving. A bit too simple a reaction but really, that's life. I'd burden myself with the task of trying to understand what life is and what my purpose is and what my end will be but I'm not interested in finding those answers anymore. I'm just trying to live a good life, praying, laughing and showing gratitude for lesser worries. 

The point I'm trying to pass across is to think of life as a journey. A journey with cycles. Simple harmonic motion, peaks & troughs. Remember to treat the troughs just like you treat the peaks, with gratitude. The troughs help you appreciate the peaks & no matter how bad, life goes on. When all the cards are against us, we can't freeze time. It just keeps going on & all the bullets keep hitting us. Just think of it as a journey, it doesn't last eternity. You'll close your eyes one day and commence another journey so whilst you're on this one; Brace yourself! Breathe In, Breathe Out & keep you faith up.

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

ONCE UPON A GARDEN CITY (1)

Every politically conscious Nigerian on the various social network platforms is expressing their disbelief/ disappointment. It is barely 12noon GMT. Videos from the Rivers State House of Assembly have surfaced online and the most popular clip contains a man in a crisp white kaftan and white shoes identified as, Chidi Lloyd, an honorable member of the house of assembly & also the houses’ leader holding the Houses’ mace and pummeling a fellow member, Michael Chinda.

Various news reporters share their versions of the meltdown that has just occurred in the House of Assembly complex. The general consensus is that 5 out of the 32 members of the house of assembly, who are also members of the anti-Amaechi faction of the PDP in the state have decided to impeach the speaker of the house of assembly, Otelemaba Amachree and appoint Evans Bipi as the new speaker.

The pro-Amaechi members there present make their way to government house to let Rotimi Amaechi know that there is a reign of Impunity in the RSHA. They make their way back to the House of Assembly Complex with the governor and that is when Michael Chinda’s assault by Chidi Lloyd ensues. Since it has become an open for all wrestling competition, Evans Bipi goes into town and gathers thugs to help him handle the pro-Amaechi lawmakers.

In a longer version of the video circulated by Sahara reporters, Tele Ikuru, the deputy governor of the state is seen hugging Evans Bipi and asking him to calm down. Bipi is also heard telling Tele Ikuru that he cannot believe that the governor has just supervised the manhandling of his colleagues.

If you have been following the crisis in Rivers State closely, you’d know that there are two factions of the state’s PDP. The faction led by Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi and the faction led by Ezebunwo Nyesom-Wike. Amaechi has had a series of fallouts with Patience Jonathan and most recently the NGF elections drama with Goodluck Jonathan. The Presidency has thus chosen to support the Nyesom-Wike faction and this was made clear by Patience Jonathan at the wedding ceremony of Evans Bipi a few weeks ago when she expressed her love for Nyesom-Wike. Also, there was a court ruling that removed G.U Ake as chairman of the state’s PDP and installed Felix Obuah. This in my opinion was a move by the presidency to destabilize Amaechi’s government.

The Legislative houses in Nigeria have been known to get physical when members sometimes have conflicting opinions. Remember the various House of Representatives fight sessions. This however, is by far the most embarrassing & most barbaric. The problem with Rivers State is a lack of enlightenment. I have heard some of these politicians answer questions posed at them/ speak in general and I’ve thought to myself, “I probably have more knowledge in planning and Implementation that this man does”

I don’t believe that 5 men would have the capability to impeach a serving speaker. My judgement is that the anti-Amaechi faction bought out some members of the pro-Amaechi faction because with the on-goings in the state, impeaching Amaechi was a very strong likelihood. Hence, with more in-house support, the 5 anti-Amaechi lawmakers were able to stage the fiasco.

If I were mature enough by Nigerian standards to hold an office, I wouldn’t want to hold it in Rivers State. Interacting with most of these politicians is very exhausting. You begin to wonder if they just forged school certificates. I believe that most of the men better suited to hold office have chosen to stay entirely out of state politics as it is dominated by Insane, power-hungry & blood thirsty people.

I am anti both factions as I believe neither has the best interest of the state at heart. In all honesty, I don’t care what these politicians do with themselves. My worry however is for the masses. The current state of insecurity would affect businesses, the Rivers State University of Science & Technology is currently on strike & Civil Servants will definitely have their salary payments delayed. Port Harcourt has over the years become a shadow of its self, thanks to militancy and the surge in kidnapping. Port Harcourt does not need this instability! Two men with inflated egos do not have the right to affect the general public due to their personal differences. The charade needs to STOP!  With all the politicking going on now, and our direct access to information via social media, I’m sure come 2015 with a hope for transparency, we know whom not to vote into office.

These men have stashed away enough to afford them exile if situations go horribly wrong; it is we, the masses who will suffer the effect of a run-down city.

I hope Michael Chinda files an attempted murder lawsuit against Chidi Lloyd. He definitely deserves some jail time. The Jonathan’s need to focus more on National issues and less involve themselves in state affairs. Rivers politicians & thugs need to remind themselves that, home indeed is where the heart lies. We need to re-build the garden city not tear it down. 

2 MONTHS AWAY? NEVER AGAIN

When you start something, it's imperative that you are bursting with ideas and are very passionate. You know you need that Oomph if you are thinking "This must be long term"
I haven't blogged in almost 2 months partly because most of the things I've written lately haven't had the Oomph effect on me/ sometimes I think are too personal (Common I'm not running an emotions diary, LOL) and also because a lot of things have been going on in my general day-to-day life.

I blogged earlier on about being very nervous about my Second year at university. I wrote my last exam on the 14th of May and in all honesty, I got so paranoid that I'd been awful in all my exams. I needed my results to be out as quickly as possible. Thankfully, those are out now & I can eat & have as much fun as I want without thoughts of failure crossing my mind. I made it through!!
The summer's been full of job interviews ( I should've sorted out an Internship earlier on but I chose to procrastinate), catching up with old friends and generally just exploring.

I woke up one morning, my phone refused to come on, my computer's hard drive crashed & my tablet refused to charge (Damn you! technology). One of the most annoying days ever considering life is so techy in this age. I hadn't backed up my hard drive before it became corrupt so that just threw me off as I'd just lost all my documents. At that point, I was over technology. Thankfully again, I got a new phone free of charge (God bless you, Apple!), sorted out my laptop situation and I'm back in love with technology. I just need to somehow time travel and attempt re-writing my lost work (almost impossible but worth a try).

Oo & the best summer story thus far; I'd just had dinner with some friends at a new American diner in Covent Garden, Shake Shack (If you haven't been already, you should try it out!), tried out new Macaroon flavours at Laduree, watched magic tricks in Covent Garden, gasped at all the things going on, on that Saturday night in Leicester Square. Been a little naughty in Soho & finally gone to get yummy fro-yo at Snog and fruit tea from Bubbleology. In short, I'd just doubled up on my London love. Then a man walks up to us and asks if I like magic, he looked drunk so I laughed, he said a few other things and we walked off. A few minutes later, I dip my hand in my bag to get my phone out & bam! It had disappeared (I'm not the only one that had lost something, by the way). I've never been superstitious before but that moment called for crazy theories. My love affair with the city that day had alas ended & I'm a zillion times more careful.

Anyway, I'm back in full swing now. It's of utmost importance to me that I blog at least once a week. Summer time comes with lots of adventure so I hope to be sharing a lot on here. I hope everyone has a lovely summer & creates lots of memories.

Lots of Summery love,

Onyi

QUESTIONS UNANSWERED; I PLEDGE TO NIGERIA, MY COUNTRY.

United we stand, Divided we fall,
An Ode to Unity I was taught as a little child,
I grew up in a Nation, the elders referred to as Nigeria,
A vast number of them, the "generation of the bewildered" were very reluctant to belong but for Unity sake they obeyed Nigeria's call,
I listened to eye witness accounts of the starvation, pain & death that came upon the East in its first attempt to secede,
These deaths and devastation to the Eastern Land did not ensure that the Sovereign State of Biafra survived,
January 15th '70, we pledged allegiance to the one Nigeria cause,
Why then are we now at the verge of history repeating its self?

I am your sole provider, says the South to the North,
This statement has been provoked by a sect of blood thirsty extremists in the North,
With the emancipation the world enjoys today, how dare you attempt to make a people conform?
Diversity should be a strength but it is in fact the greatest weakness,
An unending tussle for the mantle of power,
Power is violence, or have we forgotten?
We are a marriage based on lies,
So many patriots have been slain in the quest for equalitarianism,
Did they die in vain?
Have we lost control?

Are dwellers pledging to radicalism?
How many divisions will there then be?
Have we given thought to the degree of our diversity?
Some say, "We need a revolution",
Are we ready to dump our fears and lay down our existence?
What really is the solution to our multitude of quandaries?
I pledge to Nigeria, my Country,
United we stand.

SWAGGIN' SINCE '93

When I was 16, I had a lot of hippy dreams. I thought I'd have eloped at 20, well not really run away but secretly get hitched! Don't judge me yet, I had other big dreams. I dreamt I'd be at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and I'd also take creative writing classes. My hippy dreams help my mind explore all the different life possibilities and my grounded dreams keep me in check. I knew at 16 that where ever the wind took me, and how ever delusional my creative mind got, hard work, success and happiness had to be a part of my plan.

I turned 20 today and as I normally do when I achieve milestones, I transitioned into a moment of solitude reflection. Thankfully, I am not living my hippy dream! I still have my head on my neck and Yes, I am at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and even though I wish I hadn't made up my mind so early with regards to what subject I wanted to study, I am thankful for how driven I am to get the best possible grades I can and how much optimism I've built inside of me. 

I am most thankful for my family today and how supportive and tolerant they've been. Many of my friends view me as a very kind person because that is the only side to me they've seen. My family however, have seen all my different phases. When I was 14, I started going through a phase where I just didn't want to talk to anyone. At school, I was the really funny & cool clever girl but every time I was back home for the holidays I'd just walk into my room and only come out when I needed to do something that couldn't be done in my room. Even though I always seemed upset & was never interested in sitting down in the living room with my family, everyone still loved & provided for me. When I was back home last summer, My Grandma was talking about something and I contributed to the conversation, she smiled. On my way back home with my Mum, she said "Grand mummy was so happy to hear you speak, she's probably never really heard your real voice" 

I've grown so much and I am so thankful. I talk now. In fact, I think I talk a bit too much to people I love. I am so much happier in life and I love that it is second nature to put people I love before me. At 20, I'm not entirely sure what exactly I want to do when I graduate but I have ideas and plans. I am proud of all my achievements, I am proud of how strong I have become, I am happy that I've not lived a boring, routined life. I've had a fair share of Young, Wild and Free moments. I am very grateful for all the love family and friends have shown me. I woke up elated, feeling very appreciated and ready to transition into a new phase. In my pursuit of spirituality, I now pray the prayer of Jabez.. I shall not cause pain, I shall indeed be a blessing to all I come in contact with. 

Wishing everyone a great day & God's blessings,

Love,

Onyi. 

ADVERSITY? RISE ABOVE IT.

I know this little girl,
Her friends tell her she is strong,
They've watched life happen to her,
They've seen her meltdowns & they've seen her rise above them,
They've seen her grow.

She thinks to herself, "I need immense strength"
Strength that diminishes her fears,
For she's very frightened by the unknown,
She wonders what her earth sojourn would be like if she had psychic vision,
She wouldn't have to deal with unprecedented turns,
She wants to let loose but she can't help but ponder on what exactly her purpose is.

Constantly worrying has created Insecurities,
Her once shielded sensitive layer has been opened,
Words spoken stick now,
She is unable to laugh off the usual,
Because now, she actually pauses to think, "Is this true?, "Is there a possibility?".

She set a standard in her mind which, she fears she may not be living up to,
Maybe her woes stem from watching everyone else grow and feeling static,
It may be from all the pressure around her,
She wants to close her eyes, say a prayer, breathe out and have life easy,
But what would life be void of adversity?

I tell her that she might find her greatest strength to be not breaking in these seemingly tough times,
She knows she has a gift but she needs to believe in its ability,
I reassure her that however chaotic the journey may be,
At her destination, it will all be worth it,
For that is Life.

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH LONDON

I Love London!

It's my favourite city. To live and go to school in Central London is so exciting!

So excited to be spending my youth in a beautiful place with historical importance. 

I'll stop gushing about this endroit magnifique as I don't want to make you more jealous than you already are, ha!

My big sister turned 23 a few weeks ago and we went out to drinks at Madison London. It's a rooftop bar/restaurant in St. Paul with an amazing view of London. I had a very pleasant night looking over my lovely city. 

Can't wait until I go back in the summer.

Wishing everyone a lovely week.

Happy Easter People!

FREEDOM

I walked a distance today,

An effort to clear my mind and perhaps find worthy inspiration,

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Oo, the joys of freedom.

My body is free, 

But my mind.. my mind is not free, I think.

Sometimes I feel like a slave, a slave to my emotions.

I can't have it all.

In my little stroll,

The one with whom I have created an unforgettable memory keeps springing up in thought,

Can I not have a moment alone?

A moment of clarity? 

This is the bitter cup of a fixation,

The inability to be expressive,

The power of a subject so fickle,

For fear of letting the guard down and shattering the just re-built wall.

This cage the mind is bolted in is self created,

For any recurrent thought is so because the mind allows it,

As I take steps in the wind,

I find that indeed both mind and body in unison sing The Joys of Freedom! 

FOR CHINUA ACHEBE: UNFORGETTABLE YOU ARE

I sat at lunch with a friend on the 21st of March, 2013, we hadn't caught up with each other in a long time so our lunch date was very long. We spoke about everything possible. My friend is one of the people who regret that the secession of Biafra was not successful, so as usual he brought the topic up. Somehow, we found ourselves talking about Pa Chinua Achebe. I said, "Hmm, Chinua Achebe is like our Mandela, if he dies, I'd cry a bucket full of tears"

I woke up on the 22nd of March, 2013 to the news that indeed Pa Chinua Achebe had passed on.
In "Things fall Apart", he wrote, "Okonkwo was well known throughout the nine villages and even beyond. His fame rested on solid personal achievements.." Chinua Achebe earned respect, fame and admiration around the world solely because of the quality of his work.

Chinua Achebe's writing had the ability to bring literary characters to life. Whilst reading Things Fall Apart, I felt like I knew Okonkwo, I related to him. When the book was made into a series, Pete Edochie played Okonkwo. Every time I see Pete Edochie in a movie today, the first thing that comes to my mind is Okonkwo!

From Things Fall Apart to No longer at ease to A man of the people, Arrow of God, Anthills of the Savannah, The Problem with Nigeria and There was a Country, I was always left spell bound. It was impossible to not finish reading anyone of his novels. His descriptive ability intrigued my mind and let my imagination run wild. In my entire life, I have not highlighted as many paragraphs as I did whilst reading his Personal history of Biafra. It breaks my heart that in his lifetime, he did not see the change he had hoped for Nigeria. The corruption he wrote about in "No Longer at Ease" is still the order of the day in an even worse magnitude.

Today, I celebrate the life of the genius that is Pa Chinua Achebe. I am thankful that his work is a source of Inspiration and gives me an Insight. He set a moral standard for us, Integrity over everything! he displayed this in the honesty of his work and his refusal to accept National honours.

Through unequalled lenses,
He predicted the future,
He proffered solutions to the future's dilemma,
But no mind was paid.

He watched his homeland grow to greatness,
He watched it shatter to the ground,
His heart was heavy,
All he had left were memories.

Memories of a time when his home was peaceful,
A time when he & his contemporaries were overflowing with hopes and dreams,
A place of great potential.
Now, he is resting, shall we let his dreams die?

Adieu Albert Chinualumogu Achebe.

Unforgettable you are. 

ON ADULTHOOD: ALL TOO FAST?

I turn 20 in a month and 4 days.
Whilst I can't fully relate to the plight of a twenty-something year old with regards to making life changing decisions such as Career paths, Marriage, general Independence and all of the things that come with being a young adult in the real world, I can however relate to the Unsurety and Fear that accompany these things.

I was watching the Season Finale of Lena Dunham's twenty-something project "Girls"
One of the characters Hanna is having a really difficult time being Independent and she says;
"You know when you're young and you drop glass, your Dad says get out the way so you can be safe while he cleans it up. Well, now no one really cares if I clean it up myself, no one really cares if I get cut with the glass. If I break something, no one says let me take care of that, You know?"

I'm only 20, I'm still on my Parents payroll, I don't have to make a choice with regards to my career path now, I still have 2 summers of Internships, my Parents still call to check up on me but I still feel like I need to clean up my glass by myself. My Second year at University hasn't been so amazing, I certainly have not made any ground breaking discoveries, I'm not even sure I've learnt anything new and this really worries me because I like to learn, I love to feel like I am making progress but my life feels so static now.

I hate that I have to go to lectures where I don't even understand a word the lecturer is saying due to how poor his/her delivery is, I don't even get tutorials at my Uni so I cannot even consolidate on the work I am being taught. I fall asleep every time I try to revise because it all just seems so pointless. I've not always been like this though. Once Upon a time, I had teachers who taught so well, I enjoyed reading through my notes, my average percentage was always overwhelming and I was always satisfied!

No one knows I'm this frightened because I never speak about it. I always laugh it off. I love to make jokes about the things I'm most frightened about. My School work is one of the most Important things to me. It is the field were I stand out, If I cant stand out anymore then how exactly am I going to differentiate myself? A number of people have high expectations of me, I don't want to let them down, I cannot let myself down either so I have decided to juice this lemon life has thrown at me. I have decided to face my fears, convince my mind to accept optimism and work as hard as is humanely possible. That's what adults do! They Push! They Push because they do not have an option, they push because they are solely responsible for themselves and maybe others. It's time to do some growing up, Its time to start cleaning up those glass pieces myself and not worry if anyone cares about me cleaning it up alone or getting cut.

Your Mindset is everything, convince your mind to Push because that is the only option. Lets see what happens.

Have a great day every one!

Love,

Onyi.

ILLITERACY LEVEL IN NIGERIA: A TICKING TIME BOMB

A few days ago, a video containing the commandant of the Lagos State chapter of the Nigerian Security and Civil Defense Corps (NSCDC) being asked the address of his organisation’s website in a discussion with Channels news hosts went viral. In this video we watched:

•       A person holding a high office in a Nigerian Parastatal speak very Informal English in a formal discussion. 
•      This same person fail to tell us what his organisation’s website address is.

Illiteracy is defined as a lack of education or a general exhibition of Ignorance. It is saddening that our society in general is plagued with this. About 71.5% of Nigerians live in absolute poverty thus are not able to gain a decent education or any education at all. It is very common that the lower living class have more children than the middle/upper class as a result of not practicing birth control. These kids come into a world of little or nothing. With an absent Welfare system, what help is rendered to them really?

The state of Education in Nigeria is very appalling. People graduate University and cannot even construct a grammatically correct sentence. The exams conducted to gain admission into tertiary Institutions are a huge sham!  Take the Joint Admissions And Matriculation Board (JAMB) examination as an example. Students bribe the exam invigilators and so are allowed to cheat or at the very worst, the supervisors are paid to read out answers to the multiple-choice questions to the students. A student who has indulged in this would end up gaining admission into a tertiary Institution and possibly cheat his/her way through. Our Educational Institutions put a high percentage of half-baked individuals in the job market yearly, what skills with regards to their degrees do they have to offer? In 2011, the UK blacklisted medical graduates from 9 Nigerian Universities. The quality of education received in our Universities is clearly not up to world standard.  With outdated Science laboratories, how does a university student gain practical knowledge? In 2013, students suck the end of their pipettes to fill it up, are we in the Stone Age?

A few months ago, Mrs Oby Ezekwesili, a former Minister of Education and current Vice President of the World Bank’s Africa division accused the Yar’Adua/Jonathan administration of wasting $67 billion left in the Federation Account by the Olusegun Obasanjo administration. The present Minister of Information, Mr Labaran Makun then went on to accuse her of mismanaging N458.1 billion budgeted to the Education sector.  Oby Ezekwesili took up the appointment as Education Minister in June 2006 and left to take up her World Bank appointment in May 2007.  I do not believe that these funds were misplaced under Mrs Ezekwesili’s watch as she is a woman of great Integrity but this just goes to show how vast amounts of money are toyed around with by government officials whilst the populace suffer. N458.1 billion apportioned to the Ministry of Education, yet a child cannot get decent education?

Some states have tried to provide their citizenry with free Primary education, but the quality of education being received is very poor. These children leave primary school and can neither read nor write. Recently, a social network called “Keek” became very popular. People make 36 seconds long videos and post them unto this platform. A lot of people go on Keek to have a laugh and a lot of youth based in Nigeria use this platform. The grammatical errors made by some of the Nigerians on Keek are alarming. I laugh whilst I watch people display sheer illiteracy but the harsh reality is that these people are my peers, we are the leaders of the future. The different societies we have found ourselves in have shaped us positively/negatively.

No sector decline has as much an effect as education has. Human resources are the most important of all resources as we control other resources. I remember watching a Documentary on the history of Nigeria and listening to our Past leaders speak Impeccable English, in comparison to what blares from our televisions and radios today, we have really gone downhill. Reading Pa Chinua Achebe’s “There was a country”, and imagining all his University of Ibadan stories, I get really jealous. There was a time when people didn’t have to cross the Atlantic and pay huge sums of money to get a world-class education because the one they got in the country was just as good.

A total reform in the Education sector is required. More Teacher’s Training Colleges and Polytechnics need to be created. Not all Universities are up to par; those not up to par should be converted to polytechnics and teachers training colleges. The welfare of teacher’s should be taken into account. An increment in their salaries are required, these are the people who mould the future generation hence they should be well taken care of. League tables are necessary as they fuel Inter-school competitions. Competition helps to improve quality. The education sector needs to be void of corruption; it needs a well-managed budget. It should not be toyed with as the future of our Country is dependent on the skills we, the youth possess.

Every child has a right to good education #REFORMTHENIGERIANEDUCATIONSECTOR 

DOWNGRADED, I'M HAPPIER

I've been trying to expatiate on bits I highlighted whilst reading Chinua Achebe's "There was a Country" hence why I haven't put anything up in what seems like an eternity. I want that post to be close to perfection, I pray it turns out so.

I keep my diary from 2012 as far away as possible from me but today I felt really guilty. I just started this blog and I'd gone a whole week without posting? Now, that's bad! So, I brought it out from the hidden dungeon where I locked it up and I started scanning through the pages. Last year I read a lot of Inspirational write-ups, Chicken soup for the soul was a great uplifter.

I read a story out of it where the story teller tells how she downgraded her lifestyle, more time with family, less time with life's frivolities and she was much happier. At the time, I totally related and even now when almost everything feels rosy, I still relate. It's the little things in life that make us happy. My loudest laughs have been from sitting down in the living room with family, catching up/making jokes about past/present occurrences.

My diary entry on the day when I read this was REALLY cheesy but I'll still share,

• "Everyday when I wake up, in spite of everything I think is wrong, I still thank God for giving me a heart large enough to love, soft enough to forgive and strong enough to an extent, persevere"
• "I think one of my new goals is to make at least one person smile daily, nothing beats making people happy really"

Just as the earth has weather seasons, our lives have changing seasons too.

Remember, the cold winter turns into the warm spring,

So when a gloomy forecast comes, welcome optimism in,

And dwell on the fact that, the joy in life is that the pain will not last forever.

Love,

Onyi. 

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

I thought to share one of my favourite poems by  John Donne with everyone;

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

It's one of my favourite poems because it reinforces the importance of human relations. It reinforces the fact that no matter how alone we feel sometimes, we are really never alone, there is always that one person or that group of people that have our better interests at heart.

Have a good day everyone.

Love,

Onyi.

REMINISCENT OF THE GREATEST MAN I KNOW.

Before I went on vacation last year, I tried to change my hair colour.

I got it done in Lagos, Nigeria and as expected, it didn't turn out right (LOL). I was hoping for a red with a burgundy-esque undertone but what I got was something along the lines of a burnt orange. Oo! I totally hated it.

The picture above is the best one I could find of myself alone. Yes, I hated it that much. Once I was back in England I tried to fix it and I got the perfect colour I wanted! I was so excited, it was perfect for my skin tone. Not too bright, just right. But seeing as I have African hair, I am not a pop star and the colour got brighter with every wash, I got tired of having to spend a fortune re-dying at every visit to the hair salon. I decided to go back to my natural hair colour, brown. I changed my mind on my way to the salon and decided to go the Jet black route instead.

Jet black hair is reminiscent of my Grand-Pa, the great Emmanuel Aguma. I don't think I ever saw a grey strand in his mane. As a child, I remember watching him in front of his mirror applying the local black dye to his hair. In the 17 years my Grand-Pa was around me, he mainly wore white clothes. Thinking about it now, he might be the most "swagged-out" man I know, with my Daddy in a close second place (LOL). 

My post today is me trying to embody my Grand-Pa but being the colour-obsessed person I am, I had to add a pop of colour with my camisole and shoes.

Take 1

Take 2

P.S I promise to bring more adventurous photos, I was in a rush last night. My apologies for the bad lighting.

Love,

Onyi.

WEIRD? NO, DIFFERENT.

Strange, Eccentric, Unusual, Weird, DIFFERENT!

I never watched the Sound of Music (It made little Onyi cringe, Oo no!)

I couldn't ever sit through the Lion King (I'd like to see it now on broadway though, Any takers?)

I only ever read 5 disney classics; Rapunzel, Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, Snow white and Beauty & the Beast. 

I spent most of my time as a child reading newspapers, books on the history of Nigeria and playing shop. I loved shop invoices so I turned my exercise books into invoices and pretended to sell goods to imaginary friends, Oo dear! (Weird?) 

In high school, my days highlight was usually finishing my Maths speed work tests before my other classmates even read the question 

Fast forward to the present day,

I think through things logically and work out the best solutions. Lights, Cameras, Action! Hi there, Spontaneity. I choose to be spontaneous, almost every-time (completely counteracting my thought process)

I walk like I'm on a runway every second of the day (Yes! In my head I'm some sort of Naomi Campbell protégé)
I frown a lot but I am also always laughing, I joke about too many things (How does that even work out?) 
I love to sit in my room and drink a whole bottle of wine alone because I love how outside the box my thoughts are when I'm a tad intoxicated.
I forgive too easily, I'm not trying to be self-righteous but I bear no grudges. If you could see through me right now, my only worry would probably be needing to call my Grand-ma more often.
I love to wear bright colours, I change my hair colour every time I'm unsure about how to tackle the lemons life throws at me.
I'm happiest when I fall in Love. I love new things, I might be one of the only people in the world that loves change.
I could go on and on about myself but i'll stop here (LOL)

Over lunch with my friend a few days ago, every time he asked me something about myself and I knew  "unusual" me would come up with a head in the clouds like answer, I just replied "I'm really weird, I don't know" I think after a while he noticed and he said to me "There's different types of weird, some weird is good. If you weren't a little weird, what would make you different?" 
It's alright to be who you are, its alright to express yourself in the best way you deem fit, its alright to not be interested in what everyone is gassed about, its alright to not be in the in-crowd.

It's alright to be different,
Its alright to be YOU.

Love, 

Onyi.  

HOW MUCH LONGER SHALL WE CONDONE EXPLOITATION?

All Hope Lost?

I was having a conversation with friends’ a few nights ago and I suddenly realised that I may have been living in denial or false hope for a long time. Everyone who knows me knows I’m really passionate about Nigeria’s political situation and preservation of our history. I’ve always dreamt of having a career along the lines of human rights activism and fighting corruption. I’ve found myself constantly asking the question, “How do I begin?” but I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’ve thus, always looked forth with optimism.

My friend’s and I started off talking about over-priced contracts being shared amongst people in public office then we went on to discuss the electricity situation, privatisation of every single sector in our economy and generally, what our future holds.

“Forget it! We’ll probably never have stable electricity in Nigeria. Owners of petrol stations and distributors of generator sets will never allow it” I’ve never fully understood how in a developing nation with a majority of the citizenry surviving on less than $1 a day, are able to pay PHCN (Power Holding Company of Nigeria) bills when they barely have power and also buy fuel to run their generators. Note that Nigeria is an Oil producing Nation yet we have to import most of our fuel. Comparing the pump price of fuel in Nigeria to that of other oil-producing nations with similar economies to ours such as Algeria and Libya, we have fuel pretty expensive. I will discuss the fuel subsidy removal topic on a later date.

So I asked my friends, how exactly can the electricity situation in Nigeria be bettered? Of course, we need to get rid of all firms exploiting our under-development for profit purposes, but with all their ties to government, how is that going to be possible? Our older generation politicians refusing to retire are worsening our predicament. How can an 80 year old man be appointed as the Chairman of the Board of Directors of Nigeria’s Ports Authority? Are there no vibrant young men in the country?

The plight of the common Nigerian man is not meagre. Imagine a married man with 4 children living in a one bedroom apartment, surviving on our minute minimum wage, N18000 (Roughly £72) a month. Note that this man has to pay rent, PHCN bills, children's school fees and every other cost that family life incurs. This man probably has a hard labour job, working very long hours to make ends meet. On the other end of the living scale, there's the National Assembly member who lives in a Mansion, rarely attends/ is vocal in the law making sittings but has a salary of about N2,000,000 a month (roughly £8000) and if you include all the frivolous allowances he gets, he earns about N150,000,000 quarterly (roughly £600,000). Nigeria, we hail thee.

The main aim of my article today is to implore us, the youth to be more aware of the plight of our fellow country-men. We need to use every medium we have to raise awareness and bring about the change we so desperately NEED. I've had conversations with people that want to go into politics, and some of them have joked, saying things like "Ah, I can't wait to enter into politics, and get my own share of the oil money" Joke or not, we must not repeat the mistakes of our past leaders. All Hope is not lost! We may not have the answers to all our questions now, we may not have the solutions to all our problems but a keen interest in the affairs of our country and dedication to the CHANGE course would provide us with solutions in due course.

Quoting from Fela Anikulapo-Kuti's V.I.P ( Vagabond's In Power) "I say, everybody get him power (Everywhere!) Everybody get him power (Everywhere!)" Our voices united, are powerful. The change we seek, we shall get!

Love,

Onyi.