BATTLE OF THE MIND

Unguarded soliloquy, my different voices get louder.
Possibly why leading the life of a party is a timeless trend,
Faced with demons, a lust for life,
Realising that a mistake made twice is a habit,
Trying to break free!
Never ending battle of the mind.

Solitude is hearty,
Loneliness however, very frail.
A wandering mind never dwells well lonely,
An idle workshop,
Continuously fracturing principles,
Breaching trust,
Constantly battling the negativity that is actually reality.

Selfish in the quest for happiness,
A very absurd reality,
No true definition of self, existing with misplaced values.
Where's the loyalty? Is it traded for something else?
The conscience is a gift,
Only because of it will selfish I, realise that the mind is a battlefield,
And the ultimate prize is freedom from the flesh.

#100HAPPYDAYS

I'm listening to Pharell's Happy whilst I write this. Emeli Sandé and Rudimental's Free has also been instrumental in fixing my mood recently (The Power of Music!)

Waking up to bad news everyday takes a toll on our moods.
If you're Nigerian, the Boko Haram attacks people in Northern Nigeria are plagued with surely must have gotten you thinking about how callous humanity is.
The missing Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 has made me truly question my existence. I have finally accepted that many things in the world are truly beyond my comprehension.

I've been thinking about so many war torn countries lately. I know there are so many girls in the Central African Republic who would give all they have to be provided with opportunities I take for granted.
Reading war stories, listening to war survivors recount their experiences and becoming increasingly aware of all the injustice in the world has become a vision-aid for my myopic view.

My Mother always told me she lived in awe because she just couldn't believe how blessed she was to have stability in her life. I always watched her closely whilst she shared her testimonies with me and thought, "Oo! How dramatic"
I'm an adult now, I turn 21 in a few weeks and I am probably more dramatic than my Mum is when I share my testimonies.
Interacting with people on a daily basis and trying to embrace the world and be open-minded has completely changed my perspective on everything.
I've gone from being completely pragmatic to being the person who understands that whilst I need to work really hard, I have to begin all my endeavours with GOD. 
The results so far have been amazing. Right now, I cannot imagine where I'd draw inspiration from or who I'd seek solace in if I did not answer to a higher being.

On a very personal level,
My confidence had been dwindling. It was getting increasingly harder to stand out.
I'd never really been scared of failure because I'd grown to believe that everything always worked out in the end. This time though, failure looked closer than ever and I actually started to wonder what it would feel like to fall from grace.
I decided to restructure. I looked at the world and realised that I was like a single cell in an entire body. I really had no superpowers and I needed guidance.

Once I sought guidance, my life started to fall in place.
It's very likely that songs of gratitude will never cease from my lips.
I haven't been more excited about life. I know there'll be trials but I'm not frightened.

I found the #100HAPPYDAYS trend on social media and It got me really excited. Everything in my life isn't perfect but I'm genuinely happy to be looking forward to great things hence, I'm challenging myself to find reasons to be happy and show gratitude and share these reasons for 100 days. JOIN ME!

Love always,

Onyi.