SWAGGIN' SINCE '93

When I was 16, I had a lot of hippy dreams. I thought I'd have eloped at 20, well not really run away but secretly get hitched! Don't judge me yet, I had other big dreams. I dreamt I'd be at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and I'd also take creative writing classes. My hippy dreams help my mind explore all the different life possibilities and my grounded dreams keep me in check. I knew at 16 that where ever the wind took me, and how ever delusional my creative mind got, hard work, success and happiness had to be a part of my plan.

I turned 20 today and as I normally do when I achieve milestones, I transitioned into a moment of solitude reflection. Thankfully, I am not living my hippy dream! I still have my head on my neck and Yes, I am at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and even though I wish I hadn't made up my mind so early with regards to what subject I wanted to study, I am thankful for how driven I am to get the best possible grades I can and how much optimism I've built inside of me. 

I am most thankful for my family today and how supportive and tolerant they've been. Many of my friends view me as a very kind person because that is the only side to me they've seen. My family however, have seen all my different phases. When I was 14, I started going through a phase where I just didn't want to talk to anyone. At school, I was the really funny & cool clever girl but every time I was back home for the holidays I'd just walk into my room and only come out when I needed to do something that couldn't be done in my room. Even though I always seemed upset & was never interested in sitting down in the living room with my family, everyone still loved & provided for me. When I was back home last summer, My Grandma was talking about something and I contributed to the conversation, she smiled. On my way back home with my Mum, she said "Grand mummy was so happy to hear you speak, she's probably never really heard your real voice" 

I've grown so much and I am so thankful. I talk now. In fact, I think I talk a bit too much to people I love. I am so much happier in life and I love that it is second nature to put people I love before me. At 20, I'm not entirely sure what exactly I want to do when I graduate but I have ideas and plans. I am proud of all my achievements, I am proud of how strong I have become, I am happy that I've not lived a boring, routined life. I've had a fair share of Young, Wild and Free moments. I am very grateful for all the love family and friends have shown me. I woke up elated, feeling very appreciated and ready to transition into a new phase. In my pursuit of spirituality, I now pray the prayer of Jabez.. I shall not cause pain, I shall indeed be a blessing to all I come in contact with. 

Wishing everyone a great day & God's blessings,

Love,

Onyi. 

ADVERSITY? RISE ABOVE IT.

I know this little girl,
Her friends tell her she is strong,
They've watched life happen to her,
They've seen her meltdowns & they've seen her rise above them,
They've seen her grow.

She thinks to herself, "I need immense strength"
Strength that diminishes her fears,
For she's very frightened by the unknown,
She wonders what her earth sojourn would be like if she had psychic vision,
She wouldn't have to deal with unprecedented turns,
She wants to let loose but she can't help but ponder on what exactly her purpose is.

Constantly worrying has created Insecurities,
Her once shielded sensitive layer has been opened,
Words spoken stick now,
She is unable to laugh off the usual,
Because now, she actually pauses to think, "Is this true?, "Is there a possibility?".

She set a standard in her mind which, she fears she may not be living up to,
Maybe her woes stem from watching everyone else grow and feeling static,
It may be from all the pressure around her,
She wants to close her eyes, say a prayer, breathe out and have life easy,
But what would life be void of adversity?

I tell her that she might find her greatest strength to be not breaking in these seemingly tough times,
She knows she has a gift but she needs to believe in its ability,
I reassure her that however chaotic the journey may be,
At her destination, it will all be worth it,
For that is Life.