HOME IS WHERE PASSION THRIVES?

My little brother began his A-levels a few weeks ago. One of the subjects he is taking is Government and Politics. I was having a workload catch-up session with him and asked him how that was going. He said to me, "Onyi, I have to learn the names of all the important MP's and people who have been influential in British Politics. It doesn't really appeal to me"

My family loves Politics. Our morning discussions centre around Nigerian politics so when he said it didn't appeal to him, I knew that as he didn't grow up in England, it was very normal that he would have to feign interest until he found real passion.

I completely relate to what he is experiencing. Whilst applying for summer internships, I realised that I wasn't sure what it was I wanted to do career wise. I was applying for jobs in the engineering industry but I knew I didn't want to work in that sector. When I moved on to applying to the big Investment banks, whilst my friends were applying for front office roles like Sales/Trading and Investment banking, I was going for the back office roles like Internal Audit. I'm driven by passion so I knew that I wouldn't be happy in that role. I needed to find a role that was an intersection of all or most of my interests. 

I was walking to school one morning and I walked past a professional services firm. I'd walked past this firm every weekday in the school year for 2 years and for the first time, I had a curiosity surge. I rushed to the library, got a computer and searched for what they did. I learnt then that the Audit Commission had called on big firms to bid for Public Sector contracts and this firm had been the biggest benefactor. I had my epiphany then. For the first time, I felt like I knew what I wanted to do. If I got a job in public sector audit, I'd get the chance to (even though minutely) influence governance by giving advice to public sector bodies on better ways to maximise their allocation and resources. I'd get to scrutinise their accounts and make sure there were no discrepancies, literally make sure tax payers' money was being spent on the right things in the right way and finally, I'd get a professional qualification. As my interests range from good governance and accountability in the public sector to Maths and Science, I was ecstatic! I still am. 

I scored my internship and enjoyed greatly my time at the firm. I learnt a lot but I kept wishing I was doing work for the local government councils, hospitals and police bodies back home. I kept imagining how exciting it'd be to see familiar names on the statement of accounts or query workers about issues I was very familiar with. 

I've lived in England for only 5 years and I still actively follow Nigerian politics and lifestyle. I still feel like I have to give back to my people. I keep wondering if my flame would burn hotter if I was playing 'Miss Fix-it' or 'Madam due process', if my passion would thrive more if I was actively involved in reforming the Nigerian public sector. 

It's very exciting that I have these quandaries to ponder on. They keep me going. I am grateful for the experience working in England is providing me with. I'm ecstatic that I am now not limited to writing essays on what I think the problem with Nigeria is; I am acquiring skills that will enable me become a reformer. 

This is my dream taking full shape. 

Love, 

Onyi 

COLOUR

Green's fear strikes,
It doesn't hurt.
Blue should be the colour of the heart now but it's a dark shade of yellow,
The passiveness is worrying!
Slowly, the colours change.
Brown and bland become the common denominator.
A deep void in emotions, an absence from the world,
Likened to a lifeless soul, a wandering body.

Red flows with rage through green's inners,
A vivid reminder that it is nearly dawn, the break of a new day.
The auditory senses black pace drums, boom-boom-boom.
It's not a wild dream,
Reality sets in.
Tears stream down and soil the exterior,
"Brace up!" You ought to be gallant, the inner voices say.

Swaying from side to side, controlled by the wind.
Love and nurture form pink blossoms,
Time and fortitude turn grey solid bottom into layers of hope.
Fear struck with egalitarian expertise,
Once levelled and colourless,
Now likened to colour in motion; Orange, Blue, Violet, Purple
A buoyant soul, an animate body.

BUCKET LIST

I have all these things on my bucket list I used to think I really wasn't brave enough to do. I'd weigh the possibility of doing them and then say, "Oo, I'll probably do this when I'm 30 or maybe 40 or just whenever I feel brave enough" but there's an expiry date on life, you know? 

Taking spontaneous trips is one of them. I feel very fortunate to have a bit of independence whilst still so young, I can't exactly tell what my future is going to be, so I'm learning to seize opportunities.

I've spent most of the school year working on my design project at university, after very long work hours (At least thrice, I sat in the Library working for almost 25 hours) and mixed emotions, I handed in the final copy at the end of term. I was ecstatic! Whilst I was basking in the brief freedom from continuously handing in stellar quality work, I needed time alone to reflect on some choices I've made with regards to my personal life. So, I decided to go to Paris. I felt like a free bird walking into St. Pancras, checking-in and waiting for my train to be called.

I've always wanted to visit a pretty city alone. As I live in London, I always said London, Paris and New York are near identical to one another but I've now realised that these cities are indeed very different from one another. New York, I haven't explored well enough to fall in love with but London and Paris have my heart. Whilst London is a bit masculine, Paris has a more feminine touch to it and with femininity comes empathy and warmth, just what I needed for a weekend away. 

I boarded the train and the entire train ride was very dreamy. I was excited in an unsure way but I was determined to wander in a novel city, feel invisible and find beauty. On arrival, I checked into my hotel and went off to Le Restaurante des Poetes in the Passage Molière. The restaurant was very cozy and the passage very picturesque. The setting made it perfect for reflecting. Solitude is bliss. I didn't have to keep a conversation going, all I needed to do was observe. I enjoy having dinner alone, so this wasn't a first but the conversations around me were different, in a different language, my view was shadowy and the notes I took down were very unusual. 

Just as I was settling my cheque, one of the waiters asked if I'd like to grab drinks with him as he'd be ending his shift. I thought that my cue to leave so, I picked up my things and slid into a taxi. I wanted to talk to strangers I'd possibly never cross paths with again but I still had my guard up and I wasn't about to share drinks with just any man. A bit uptight for a supposed free spirit, I know.

I went back to my Hotel, changed into a night time outfit and headed to L'experimental. Going to a really cozy bar alone was a little awkward, as it was my first time. I headed straight to the bar area and told the bartender to make me cocktails that infused my favourite flavours. Whilst we were at that, someone who sources fabrics for Saint Laurent walked up to me and asked who the designer of the pair of shorts I was wearing was. It was a pair of Velvet shorts with gold embellishments from Virgos Lounge. Before she walked up to me, she thought it was designed by Balmain, pretty easy way to start a girly conversation. She invited me to join her party of friends who ensured I had a very lovely night. I was talking to one of her friends who told me he'd be quitting his job the next monday to go sailing around the world. Think Eat, Pray, Love. I only saw people finding themselves through lots of travel by reading fiction, or watching movies. Maybe because I come from a place where no one ever admits to being lost, we all just go along with the conventional flow. 

As interesting as his stories were, I still got a bit frightened. Our entire conversation span, I kept wondering if I'd ever decide to quit my already-made life because I just wasn't happy or satisfied. I got lost talking and laughing, and didn't even realise when the clocks moved forward, it was almost 5am when I realised and as I walked to get my taxi that morning, I had a brief moment where I felt really emancipated. I realised that people were just people and there were 7 billion of us on the planet. I didn't need to keep sugar-coating things and playing hide & seek because I was scared to look people in the eye and tell them my truth. I needed to be Me, the person that had just sat with a group of strangers I'd possibly never cross paths with again and had the most honest conversations. That was all the clarity I needed.

My Sunday began with a communion service at the Notre Dame. Possibly the highlight of the trip. It was very tranquil. As is common with Gothic architecture, it is very palatial. As I wandered around and got lost in how beautiful the church was, my mind and spirit in unison said, "God truly does live here". The funny thing is I'd been here before, I think I was about 16 and as was common with my younger self, I was distracted. Yes! I know I'm a tad dramatic but it was a wonderful experience.

I headed to Brasserie de L'isle Saint Louis where I got a seat at the terrace which has a really great view. After I was done eating, I took a walk and unleashed my photography skills (LOL). Thankfully, the weather was beautiful so I, in my 5-inch heels and full skirt wandered around all the touristy spots and once I was tired, I headed back to my hotel and fell asleep until morning.

On my final day I didn't really make any plans. I decided to be very spontaneous and just do whatever the wind blew my way. I lodged in a place really close to the Arc de Triomphe so I walked down the Champs Élysées window-shopping and in some cases went in to try on clothes. I tried to restrain myself but I couldn't help but find myself walking along Avenue Montaigne. I ended up succumbing to my weakness for fine leather shoes made to fit my massive size 42 feet thus draining my bank account but it was all worth it. Walked to L'avenue and wondered if I'd bump into any Drake's or Rihanna's but alas, no celebrities were in sight. After a while, I headed to Gard du Nord, boarded my train and came back home to my love, London. 

I had a wonderful time in Paris. I love that life sometimes feels like pages from a story book. I'm glad I was brave enough to do something on my bucket list and I was even more glad I got the clarity I needed.

Love and Light,
Onyi 

BATTLE OF THE MIND

Unguarded soliloquy, my different voices get louder.
Possibly why leading the life of a party is a timeless trend,
Faced with demons, a lust for life,
Realising that a mistake made twice is a habit,
Trying to break free!
Never ending battle of the mind.

Solitude is hearty,
Loneliness however, very frail.
A wandering mind never dwells well lonely,
An idle workshop,
Continuously fracturing principles,
Breaching trust,
Constantly battling the negativity that is actually reality.

Selfish in the quest for happiness,
A very absurd reality,
No true definition of self, existing with misplaced values.
Where's the loyalty? Is it traded for something else?
The conscience is a gift,
Only because of it will selfish I, realise that the mind is a battlefield,
And the ultimate prize is freedom from the flesh.

#100HAPPYDAYS

I'm listening to Pharell's Happy whilst I write this. Emeli Sandé and Rudimental's Free has also been instrumental in fixing my mood recently (The Power of Music!)

Waking up to bad news everyday takes a toll on our moods.
If you're Nigerian, the Boko Haram attacks people in Northern Nigeria are plagued with surely must have gotten you thinking about how callous humanity is.
The missing Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 has made me truly question my existence. I have finally accepted that many things in the world are truly beyond my comprehension.

I've been thinking about so many war torn countries lately. I know there are so many girls in the Central African Republic who would give all they have to be provided with opportunities I take for granted.
Reading war stories, listening to war survivors recount their experiences and becoming increasingly aware of all the injustice in the world has become a vision-aid for my myopic view.

My Mother always told me she lived in awe because she just couldn't believe how blessed she was to have stability in her life. I always watched her closely whilst she shared her testimonies with me and thought, "Oo! How dramatic"
I'm an adult now, I turn 21 in a few weeks and I am probably more dramatic than my Mum is when I share my testimonies.
Interacting with people on a daily basis and trying to embrace the world and be open-minded has completely changed my perspective on everything.
I've gone from being completely pragmatic to being the person who understands that whilst I need to work really hard, I have to begin all my endeavours with GOD. 
The results so far have been amazing. Right now, I cannot imagine where I'd draw inspiration from or who I'd seek solace in if I did not answer to a higher being.

On a very personal level,
My confidence had been dwindling. It was getting increasingly harder to stand out.
I'd never really been scared of failure because I'd grown to believe that everything always worked out in the end. This time though, failure looked closer than ever and I actually started to wonder what it would feel like to fall from grace.
I decided to restructure. I looked at the world and realised that I was like a single cell in an entire body. I really had no superpowers and I needed guidance.

Once I sought guidance, my life started to fall in place.
It's very likely that songs of gratitude will never cease from my lips.
I haven't been more excited about life. I know there'll be trials but I'm not frightened.

I found the #100HAPPYDAYS trend on social media and It got me really excited. Everything in my life isn't perfect but I'm genuinely happy to be looking forward to great things hence, I'm challenging myself to find reasons to be happy and show gratitude and share these reasons for 100 days. JOIN ME!

Love always,

Onyi.

WHAT IS A GOOD LIFE?

Seeing a lot of monetarily rich people, I tend to gasp sometimes and say "Ooh! They have it so good"

How do I come to this conclusion? They probably are driving the fastest car, draped in luxury clothing, live in the biggest house, own/ work for a very profitable enterprise.

I'm not a mind reader so I don't know what their feelings are. Are they content? Do they feel completely at ease and happy? 

The holiday completely changed my perception of money. Money is a tool. If I was stripped bare and unable to continue life as it is now, just like the millions of people that have a minimum amount of it, I'd survive. In conversations with my dad, he always pointed out that avenues would arise to make certain choices that could lead to material accumulation but more times there would be a trade off between Greed and Integrity. Following earnestly, Nigerian news, this resonated with me. Remember the AMCON list of debtors? It was shocking and humorous because of the calibre of people on the list, the billions involved and how they had defaulted on these loans. I remember vividly that it put a sense of contentment in my heart because I realised that my care-takers had tailored life such that we only had what we could afford. I heard a man once say, "I learnt the beauty of dying debt-free when my father died. It created peace, harmony & averted unnecessary worry"

We live in a world where money is worshipped. We however, have to strive for integrity. 

As a child, I always watched the Hallmark movie channel. One movie I remember vividly is Nelson Mandela's biopic. It's unforgettable to me because, as a child, I didn't really understand freedom from colonialism or apartheid but watching this movie always brought me to tears. I saw greatness. Since the day 5-year old me first watched the biopic, Madiba's life has been an inspiration to me. When he passed on, I reflected on his legacy. Integrity stood out. He achieved the pinnacle of his aspiration on merit and he lived a very simple life, void of the trappings of most of the things we believe are necessary for a good life. He spent his latter days mostly in the company of his grand children. I believe that for all he sacrificed in his earlier life, he was blessed with all that he needed in his latter life. The earth doffed it's hat to this great man. We can all in unison say, "He lived a good life" 

There are two ways to get enough. You could choose to accumulate more & more or choose to desire less and less, said a man who was put in a Soviet prison. Being in solitary confinement, you realise that you can live without so many things. We can argue that life is becoming more complex and we are becoming more exposed, hence, we need more things to be happy. It is however,  a blatant lie. That theory is self-created. A vicious cycle used to exist in my life. I'd want something, come up with all the different reasons why it would perfectly balance out my life and buy it. A few months later, something new would catch my eye, it would remain on my mind and even make me a little unhappy until I own it.  If the former was such a perfect balance, why then did the latter catch my eye? This is the generation we live in, variations which we are made to believe are better will always be created hence, applying restraint is something we should learn to practice. Since I shed the wish list/ always wanting habit, trivialities have a minimal effect on my life.

It takes far less than we think to be happy. By craving certain things in excess, we make those things lord over our lives. Money on its own, I don't believe is evil. It is only a measure of material value. The things we however, place value on determines money's purpose in our lives. A healthy balance has to be struck. We have to appreciate the comfort we can create with money but avoid conforming to the lusts of consumerism baring in mind that having too much would lead to the loss of emotions such as excitement. Life would be extremely bland for me if I was not looking forward to graduation or  getting on my own merit a decent source of income. 

From my family's structure, I've learnt to never allow my pursuit of materials take me completely away from family. The sense of belonging, happiness and laughter the holiday brought, made this more evident to me. A good life to me, is free from the strong-hold of materials or expectations which should be trivialities and immersed in a world of love of family and the earth, hard-work to achieve merit, positive aspirations, faith and sacrifice. In retrospect, realising you did all you could with a good heart and with the right drive is a blessing and something we all should aspire to. 

"At the end of the day, Lord, I pray; I have a life that's good"  

TIME TO REFUEL!

I've spent the last 2 weeks of the year holidaying. Waking at mid-day, eating lots of food, drinking merrily and visiting family. For the first time in these 2 weeks, my body was propelled to rise at 5am (thanks to the dragonfly like insect that found its way into my room!). I realised it's the 31st of December, last day of the year! It's the time of the year that calls for somber reflection and re-fueling my drive.

All through December, I've tried to reflect on the year. I started to feel like I hadn't set any clear goals at the start of the year. I then looked at my diary and I realised that 2013 was a year of immense growth for me. Towards the end of 2012, I felt I needed a platform to express myself, I started Life Atelier at the start of the year. I set an academic goal and I feel indebted to God for helping me achieve that. I feel undeserving most times but I'm forever thankful for my many blessings. My relationship with family has blossomed. I'm a lot more outspoken, helpful and understanding. I've tried to free my self from the shackles of relationships that undermine me and I'm glad I finally got the courage to let some people go. 

I made a new friend this year. He brought with him two habits he made me imbibe, happiness and contentment. He never fails to point out all my blessings when I start to feel weary and he's helped to teach me the value of so many things my myopic view once thought to be little. I'm very thankful for my friend and I wish him euphoria, always. 

Over the summer, I took a few pictures and did some write-ups. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to re-live my summer through the blog but halfway through, I stopped. I really need to work on my continuity skills. I need to learn to push myself and create work myself and others can appreciate. This is one of my plans for the new year. People often say that new year resolutions are cliché and you shouldn't wait till the new year to change your lifestyle. Whilst I agree with the latter, I don't agree with the former. I believe resolutions help give structure to your year. You set some goals and you don't rest until you are able to tick them off your 'to-achieve' list. I think it's a great success recipe. I'm making a vision board and I hope it serves as the motivation I want it to be. 

I am learning to allow spontaneity and structure co-exist in my life. Structure to achieve my set goals and spontaneity to fuel my young heart (LOL!). I'm excited for the New year. My religion teaches me to be hopeful and have faith, I am currently bustling with these. I am also praying that with the new year comes, sound health and long life for our families. 

I wish you a very prosperous new year.

Love,

Onyi. 

TIME

Last friday night, I got on a train from London to another city & the weekend disappeared. Time swiftly moved past me. I barely have memories from the weekend. It's Monday now, I'm on a train from Central London back home, all that's on my mind is time.
Do I have time enough to juggle everything on my to-do-list? School work, job applications, volunteering, starting a radio show, keeping a detailed diary, making sure all my relationships are in a good place?

I pick up my phone & I call someone at home. I get told that one of the Reverend's whom I think is a shining star has lost his wife to cancer. I think about his children, they are younger than I am. I think about him, I'm sure he's trying not to break down as he has to be a pillar for everyone else to lean on. I think about what time means to him. Time right now must be so slow. Losing a loved one, grieving for days, weeks, months, years. Wondering when you'd see them again or just accepting that they, like time are gone with the wind.

My mind travels back to earlier in the week, sitting in a 2 hour lecture. I pick up my phone and send out a tweet, "The most ruthless lecture, 9-11, no break, no class exercise, just lecturer talking", In the span of that minute, I see a news pop-up, there has just been a plane crash. People who had no clue they were saying their last good-byes have just bid the earth farewell. I try to distract myself because I can't control my wandering thoughts. I keep imagining how much anguish the victims must have experienced. I tell myself again and again to be prepared for whatever life throws at me. In the wake of me garnering my strength, I hear that someone whom I know is a few years younger than my Father and has kids younger than I am has just passed away from a heart attack.

I relapse & then, I call my mum. She confirms the news. We have a talk about life's transience. I walk back to my sit in the library, time does not stop. I expect that the earth will stand still, but it doesn't. We've just lost so many people who had people who were so dependent on them. Is everyone really replaceable? I ponder on.. and then I finally accept that the the earth will never stop rotating, even in the gloomiest of days. I shock myself even more because in a few hours, I continue to live like nothing's changed. Everyone around me is doing the same.

I look at my wrist watch, time is moving at it's normal pace. I still don't have enough time to completely tick-off my to-do list. I'm still burdened with easing into a fast-paced life & more than ever before I'm lost & confused. I just can't grasp the second & minute hands moving around the clock face or even the flow of sand in an hour glass.

NEED FOR SPEED

I've recently moved from Central London to a less busy area. I however still go to school in Central. Whilst in full trot mode to make it on time to my activities of the day, these words were jumbling in my head;

Motion,

Swift movements in my youth.

Rush,

My love for the rush from Adrenaline.

Void of fear,

The closer I am to death, the more I feel alive.

Cynical view on life, 

Belief that I run this race alone. 

For what would life be in retrospect if speed is not a part of my youth? 

I don't want to crave the wild oats in my senility,

Live, love,

Create memories.

Relish in the strength and swiftness of youth. 

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

SOUL THERAPY: A NIGHT WITH NNEKA

Nneka Egbuna, Daalu!

I am still speechless from watching Nneka and her band play last weekend. The message, the depth, the therapy I so desperately needed to bring me back to earth & keep in touch with my humanity.

I'd had a Samson-esque day (Laughs) at the hair salon. Planned to soften & style my hair so I could look cute for the concert but when texturiser was applied to my hair, it fell out from the roots. I got really upset and emotional, I loved my mane! Anyway, I decided to shave three-quater of my hair and keep it moving. Extremely glad my day ended well.

Nneka's sound art isn't mainstream. It's an infusion of so many different genres; Reggae, Hip-hop, Neo-soul, R&B but the most essential part of her art, the part that has had me smitten is the thought-provoking message she conveys. I start to question my-self & my surrounding. I stop pointing fingers because I realise that I too am guilty, I too have been designed to play an essential role in my immediate surrounding. She is very true to her roots. During her performance she pauses and says in Nigeria's pidgin English, "You fit kill the messenger but you no fit kill the message"

Who are we?
Have we embraced civilisation to the extent that we are imprisoned?
How much do we seek freedom? When will we be free?
Are we suffering in silence?
Are our weaknesses our strengths?
Do we know God in solitude? Do we act him in public?
How dare I judge, when I too dwell in sin?

With Nigeria's diversity and capacity, why are we still suffering?
Is recorded history really the truth?
Are we plagued with civilised armed robbers as leaders?
Have our tradition, our love for our fellow country men, properties and resources been evaded & erased?
How long will it take for us to Love Nigeria?

Questions, still unanswered.

Nneka performing Do You Love Me Now

If you haven't ever listened to Nneka's work, I'd recommend her Soul is Heavy Album as a first listen. I decided to start sharing politically inclined work I'd written after listening to this piece of pure genius. Her gift is exceptional and I am extremely glad that I watched her play and saw firsthand how passionate she is about her work. Enjoy!

Love,

Onyi.

HALF OF A YELLOW SUN!!

Finally, the trailer for the movie adaptation of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Half of a yellow sun (One of my favourite books ever) has been released. Some clips from the trailer look a bit too modern for Nigeria in the 1960's & I don't think it has enough of the local flavour but I am still very excited to see the visuals of a piece of work I've pictured in my mind for a long time.
I still wish Nse Ikpe-Etim was cast as Kainene & maybe Genevieve Nnaji as Olanna but it doesn't look like Thandie Newton & Anika Noni Rose did a bad job. Chinwetel Ejiofor delivering a perfect Nigerian accent, Amazing! YES! This is how I always pictured Professor Odenigbo.
I cannot wait for the movie premiere, extremely excited. Finally, the kids get to watch an interesting movie on Nigeria in History class.

Onyi.

ON LIFE: TAKE A DEEP BREATH

I was trying to figure out my bus route today so I got on a bus home. The bus passed through George Street. Now, George Street is important to me because I lived in a flat there with my Grandpa in the summer of 2009. He used to take walks a lot that summer. I remember bumping into him a couple of times on my way back home from playing with friends or being a regular 16 year old (Laughs). That was the last summer I spent with him. I started sixth form at the end of summer and during my half term, he was hospitalised. Every time I went to the hospital to visit, he'd act strong, talk to me about the subjects I'd picked at school and assure me that everything would be fine. He passed away on February 10th the next year, I was SHOCKED. I knew he was ill but I didn't think Grand Daddy could die. I thought to myself, "Has Death no respect?" He'd kept my school report cards from the day I started school but he wasn't going to see me graduate? I was gutted. Ever since the day I found out he'd passed, a phrase has stuck with me and it's "Life is transient"

A group of my friends and I were talking, I told them that I thought I hadn't been my real self since I started university and I think I'd found my real self again. Someone then asked who my real self was, I realised that I'd just said that sentence and I couldn't even explain who my real self was. Another friend came to my rescue and said she thought of my real self as very calm and generally sendless. I think that was a very apt description of the person I am right now. I've been really stressed out lately, occurrences have made me almost question my faith but the phrase that stuck with me that has now become my motto has always come to my rescue. I get upset for 5 minutes and then I get upset at myself for even getting upset in the first place because I've realised finally that nothing majorly life changing has happened to me. I don't have a right to sulk or burden myself with grief or bitterness. 

Thinking of life as transient and unpredictable isn't necessarily the best school of thought though because nowadays when things happen, my first reaction is to take it as it is, for that is life. Breathe in, breathe out, keep it moving. A bit too simple a reaction but really, that's life. I'd burden myself with the task of trying to understand what life is and what my purpose is and what my end will be but I'm not interested in finding those answers anymore. I'm just trying to live a good life, praying, laughing and showing gratitude for lesser worries. 

The point I'm trying to pass across is to think of life as a journey. A journey with cycles. Simple harmonic motion, peaks & troughs. Remember to treat the troughs just like you treat the peaks, with gratitude. The troughs help you appreciate the peaks & no matter how bad, life goes on. When all the cards are against us, we can't freeze time. It just keeps going on & all the bullets keep hitting us. Just think of it as a journey, it doesn't last eternity. You'll close your eyes one day and commence another journey so whilst you're on this one; Brace yourself! Breathe In, Breathe Out & keep you faith up.

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

ONCE UPON A GARDEN CITY (1)

Every politically conscious Nigerian on the various social network platforms is expressing their disbelief/ disappointment. It is barely 12noon GMT. Videos from the Rivers State House of Assembly have surfaced online and the most popular clip contains a man in a crisp white kaftan and white shoes identified as, Chidi Lloyd, an honorable member of the house of assembly & also the houses’ leader holding the Houses’ mace and pummeling a fellow member, Michael Chinda.

Various news reporters share their versions of the meltdown that has just occurred in the House of Assembly complex. The general consensus is that 5 out of the 32 members of the house of assembly, who are also members of the anti-Amaechi faction of the PDP in the state have decided to impeach the speaker of the house of assembly, Otelemaba Amachree and appoint Evans Bipi as the new speaker.

The pro-Amaechi members there present make their way to government house to let Rotimi Amaechi know that there is a reign of Impunity in the RSHA. They make their way back to the House of Assembly Complex with the governor and that is when Michael Chinda’s assault by Chidi Lloyd ensues. Since it has become an open for all wrestling competition, Evans Bipi goes into town and gathers thugs to help him handle the pro-Amaechi lawmakers.

In a longer version of the video circulated by Sahara reporters, Tele Ikuru, the deputy governor of the state is seen hugging Evans Bipi and asking him to calm down. Bipi is also heard telling Tele Ikuru that he cannot believe that the governor has just supervised the manhandling of his colleagues.

If you have been following the crisis in Rivers State closely, you’d know that there are two factions of the state’s PDP. The faction led by Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi and the faction led by Ezebunwo Nyesom-Wike. Amaechi has had a series of fallouts with Patience Jonathan and most recently the NGF elections drama with Goodluck Jonathan. The Presidency has thus chosen to support the Nyesom-Wike faction and this was made clear by Patience Jonathan at the wedding ceremony of Evans Bipi a few weeks ago when she expressed her love for Nyesom-Wike. Also, there was a court ruling that removed G.U Ake as chairman of the state’s PDP and installed Felix Obuah. This in my opinion was a move by the presidency to destabilize Amaechi’s government.

The Legislative houses in Nigeria have been known to get physical when members sometimes have conflicting opinions. Remember the various House of Representatives fight sessions. This however, is by far the most embarrassing & most barbaric. The problem with Rivers State is a lack of enlightenment. I have heard some of these politicians answer questions posed at them/ speak in general and I’ve thought to myself, “I probably have more knowledge in planning and Implementation that this man does”

I don’t believe that 5 men would have the capability to impeach a serving speaker. My judgement is that the anti-Amaechi faction bought out some members of the pro-Amaechi faction because with the on-goings in the state, impeaching Amaechi was a very strong likelihood. Hence, with more in-house support, the 5 anti-Amaechi lawmakers were able to stage the fiasco.

If I were mature enough by Nigerian standards to hold an office, I wouldn’t want to hold it in Rivers State. Interacting with most of these politicians is very exhausting. You begin to wonder if they just forged school certificates. I believe that most of the men better suited to hold office have chosen to stay entirely out of state politics as it is dominated by Insane, power-hungry & blood thirsty people.

I am anti both factions as I believe neither has the best interest of the state at heart. In all honesty, I don’t care what these politicians do with themselves. My worry however is for the masses. The current state of insecurity would affect businesses, the Rivers State University of Science & Technology is currently on strike & Civil Servants will definitely have their salary payments delayed. Port Harcourt has over the years become a shadow of its self, thanks to militancy and the surge in kidnapping. Port Harcourt does not need this instability! Two men with inflated egos do not have the right to affect the general public due to their personal differences. The charade needs to STOP!  With all the politicking going on now, and our direct access to information via social media, I’m sure come 2015 with a hope for transparency, we know whom not to vote into office.

These men have stashed away enough to afford them exile if situations go horribly wrong; it is we, the masses who will suffer the effect of a run-down city.

I hope Michael Chinda files an attempted murder lawsuit against Chidi Lloyd. He definitely deserves some jail time. The Jonathan’s need to focus more on National issues and less involve themselves in state affairs. Rivers politicians & thugs need to remind themselves that, home indeed is where the heart lies. We need to re-build the garden city not tear it down. 

2 MONTHS AWAY? NEVER AGAIN

When you start something, it's imperative that you are bursting with ideas and are very passionate. You know you need that Oomph if you are thinking "This must be long term"
I haven't blogged in almost 2 months partly because most of the things I've written lately haven't had the Oomph effect on me/ sometimes I think are too personal (Common I'm not running an emotions diary, LOL) and also because a lot of things have been going on in my general day-to-day life.

I blogged earlier on about being very nervous about my Second year at university. I wrote my last exam on the 14th of May and in all honesty, I got so paranoid that I'd been awful in all my exams. I needed my results to be out as quickly as possible. Thankfully, those are out now & I can eat & have as much fun as I want without thoughts of failure crossing my mind. I made it through!!
The summer's been full of job interviews ( I should've sorted out an Internship earlier on but I chose to procrastinate), catching up with old friends and generally just exploring.

I woke up one morning, my phone refused to come on, my computer's hard drive crashed & my tablet refused to charge (Damn you! technology). One of the most annoying days ever considering life is so techy in this age. I hadn't backed up my hard drive before it became corrupt so that just threw me off as I'd just lost all my documents. At that point, I was over technology. Thankfully again, I got a new phone free of charge (God bless you, Apple!), sorted out my laptop situation and I'm back in love with technology. I just need to somehow time travel and attempt re-writing my lost work (almost impossible but worth a try).

Oo & the best summer story thus far; I'd just had dinner with some friends at a new American diner in Covent Garden, Shake Shack (If you haven't been already, you should try it out!), tried out new Macaroon flavours at Laduree, watched magic tricks in Covent Garden, gasped at all the things going on, on that Saturday night in Leicester Square. Been a little naughty in Soho & finally gone to get yummy fro-yo at Snog and fruit tea from Bubbleology. In short, I'd just doubled up on my London love. Then a man walks up to us and asks if I like magic, he looked drunk so I laughed, he said a few other things and we walked off. A few minutes later, I dip my hand in my bag to get my phone out & bam! It had disappeared (I'm not the only one that had lost something, by the way). I've never been superstitious before but that moment called for crazy theories. My love affair with the city that day had alas ended & I'm a zillion times more careful.

Anyway, I'm back in full swing now. It's of utmost importance to me that I blog at least once a week. Summer time comes with lots of adventure so I hope to be sharing a lot on here. I hope everyone has a lovely summer & creates lots of memories.

Lots of Summery love,

Onyi

QUESTIONS UNANSWERED; I PLEDGE TO NIGERIA, MY COUNTRY.

United we stand, Divided we fall,
An Ode to Unity I was taught as a little child,
I grew up in a Nation, the elders referred to as Nigeria,
A vast number of them, the "generation of the bewildered" were very reluctant to belong but for Unity sake they obeyed Nigeria's call,
I listened to eye witness accounts of the starvation, pain & death that came upon the East in its first attempt to secede,
These deaths and devastation to the Eastern Land did not ensure that the Sovereign State of Biafra survived,
January 15th '70, we pledged allegiance to the one Nigeria cause,
Why then are we now at the verge of history repeating its self?

I am your sole provider, says the South to the North,
This statement has been provoked by a sect of blood thirsty extremists in the North,
With the emancipation the world enjoys today, how dare you attempt to make a people conform?
Diversity should be a strength but it is in fact the greatest weakness,
An unending tussle for the mantle of power,
Power is violence, or have we forgotten?
We are a marriage based on lies,
So many patriots have been slain in the quest for equalitarianism,
Did they die in vain?
Have we lost control?

Are dwellers pledging to radicalism?
How many divisions will there then be?
Have we given thought to the degree of our diversity?
Some say, "We need a revolution",
Are we ready to dump our fears and lay down our existence?
What really is the solution to our multitude of quandaries?
I pledge to Nigeria, my Country,
United we stand.

SWAGGIN' SINCE '93

When I was 16, I had a lot of hippy dreams. I thought I'd have eloped at 20, well not really run away but secretly get hitched! Don't judge me yet, I had other big dreams. I dreamt I'd be at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and I'd also take creative writing classes. My hippy dreams help my mind explore all the different life possibilities and my grounded dreams keep me in check. I knew at 16 that where ever the wind took me, and how ever delusional my creative mind got, hard work, success and happiness had to be a part of my plan.

I turned 20 today and as I normally do when I achieve milestones, I transitioned into a moment of solitude reflection. Thankfully, I am not living my hippy dream! I still have my head on my neck and Yes, I am at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and even though I wish I hadn't made up my mind so early with regards to what subject I wanted to study, I am thankful for how driven I am to get the best possible grades I can and how much optimism I've built inside of me. 

I am most thankful for my family today and how supportive and tolerant they've been. Many of my friends view me as a very kind person because that is the only side to me they've seen. My family however, have seen all my different phases. When I was 14, I started going through a phase where I just didn't want to talk to anyone. At school, I was the really funny & cool clever girl but every time I was back home for the holidays I'd just walk into my room and only come out when I needed to do something that couldn't be done in my room. Even though I always seemed upset & was never interested in sitting down in the living room with my family, everyone still loved & provided for me. When I was back home last summer, My Grandma was talking about something and I contributed to the conversation, she smiled. On my way back home with my Mum, she said "Grand mummy was so happy to hear you speak, she's probably never really heard your real voice" 

I've grown so much and I am so thankful. I talk now. In fact, I think I talk a bit too much to people I love. I am so much happier in life and I love that it is second nature to put people I love before me. At 20, I'm not entirely sure what exactly I want to do when I graduate but I have ideas and plans. I am proud of all my achievements, I am proud of how strong I have become, I am happy that I've not lived a boring, routined life. I've had a fair share of Young, Wild and Free moments. I am very grateful for all the love family and friends have shown me. I woke up elated, feeling very appreciated and ready to transition into a new phase. In my pursuit of spirituality, I now pray the prayer of Jabez.. I shall not cause pain, I shall indeed be a blessing to all I come in contact with. 

Wishing everyone a great day & God's blessings,

Love,

Onyi. 

ADVERSITY? RISE ABOVE IT.

I know this little girl,
Her friends tell her she is strong,
They've watched life happen to her,
They've seen her meltdowns & they've seen her rise above them,
They've seen her grow.

She thinks to herself, "I need immense strength"
Strength that diminishes her fears,
For she's very frightened by the unknown,
She wonders what her earth sojourn would be like if she had psychic vision,
She wouldn't have to deal with unprecedented turns,
She wants to let loose but she can't help but ponder on what exactly her purpose is.

Constantly worrying has created Insecurities,
Her once shielded sensitive layer has been opened,
Words spoken stick now,
She is unable to laugh off the usual,
Because now, she actually pauses to think, "Is this true?, "Is there a possibility?".

She set a standard in her mind which, she fears she may not be living up to,
Maybe her woes stem from watching everyone else grow and feeling static,
It may be from all the pressure around her,
She wants to close her eyes, say a prayer, breathe out and have life easy,
But what would life be void of adversity?

I tell her that she might find her greatest strength to be not breaking in these seemingly tough times,
She knows she has a gift but she needs to believe in its ability,
I reassure her that however chaotic the journey may be,
At her destination, it will all be worth it,
For that is Life.

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH LONDON

I Love London!

It's my favourite city. To live and go to school in Central London is so exciting!

So excited to be spending my youth in a beautiful place with historical importance. 

I'll stop gushing about this endroit magnifique as I don't want to make you more jealous than you already are, ha!

My big sister turned 23 a few weeks ago and we went out to drinks at Madison London. It's a rooftop bar/restaurant in St. Paul with an amazing view of London. I had a very pleasant night looking over my lovely city. 

Can't wait until I go back in the summer.

Wishing everyone a lovely week.

Happy Easter People!

FREEDOM

I walked a distance today,

An effort to clear my mind and perhaps find worthy inspiration,

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Oo, the joys of freedom.

My body is free, 

But my mind.. my mind is not free, I think.

Sometimes I feel like a slave, a slave to my emotions.

I can't have it all.

In my little stroll,

The one with whom I have created an unforgettable memory keeps springing up in thought,

Can I not have a moment alone?

A moment of clarity? 

This is the bitter cup of a fixation,

The inability to be expressive,

The power of a subject so fickle,

For fear of letting the guard down and shattering the just re-built wall.

This cage the mind is bolted in is self created,

For any recurrent thought is so because the mind allows it,

As I take steps in the wind,

I find that indeed both mind and body in unison sing The Joys of Freedom! 

FOR CHINUA ACHEBE: UNFORGETTABLE YOU ARE

I sat at lunch with a friend on the 21st of March, 2013, we hadn't caught up with each other in a long time so our lunch date was very long. We spoke about everything possible. My friend is one of the people who regret that the secession of Biafra was not successful, so as usual he brought the topic up. Somehow, we found ourselves talking about Pa Chinua Achebe. I said, "Hmm, Chinua Achebe is like our Mandela, if he dies, I'd cry a bucket full of tears"

I woke up on the 22nd of March, 2013 to the news that indeed Pa Chinua Achebe had passed on.
In "Things fall Apart", he wrote, "Okonkwo was well known throughout the nine villages and even beyond. His fame rested on solid personal achievements.." Chinua Achebe earned respect, fame and admiration around the world solely because of the quality of his work.

Chinua Achebe's writing had the ability to bring literary characters to life. Whilst reading Things Fall Apart, I felt like I knew Okonkwo, I related to him. When the book was made into a series, Pete Edochie played Okonkwo. Every time I see Pete Edochie in a movie today, the first thing that comes to my mind is Okonkwo!

From Things Fall Apart to No longer at ease to A man of the people, Arrow of God, Anthills of the Savannah, The Problem with Nigeria and There was a Country, I was always left spell bound. It was impossible to not finish reading anyone of his novels. His descriptive ability intrigued my mind and let my imagination run wild. In my entire life, I have not highlighted as many paragraphs as I did whilst reading his Personal history of Biafra. It breaks my heart that in his lifetime, he did not see the change he had hoped for Nigeria. The corruption he wrote about in "No Longer at Ease" is still the order of the day in an even worse magnitude.

Today, I celebrate the life of the genius that is Pa Chinua Achebe. I am thankful that his work is a source of Inspiration and gives me an Insight. He set a moral standard for us, Integrity over everything! he displayed this in the honesty of his work and his refusal to accept National honours.

Through unequalled lenses,
He predicted the future,
He proffered solutions to the future's dilemma,
But no mind was paid.

He watched his homeland grow to greatness,
He watched it shatter to the ground,
His heart was heavy,
All he had left were memories.

Memories of a time when his home was peaceful,
A time when he & his contemporaries were overflowing with hopes and dreams,
A place of great potential.
Now, he is resting, shall we let his dreams die?

Adieu Albert Chinualumogu Achebe.

Unforgettable you are.