ON LIFE: TAKE A DEEP BREATH

I was trying to figure out my bus route today so I got on a bus home. The bus passed through George Street. Now, George Street is important to me because I lived in a flat there with my Grandpa in the summer of 2009. He used to take walks a lot that summer. I remember bumping into him a couple of times on my way back home from playing with friends or being a regular 16 year old (Laughs). That was the last summer I spent with him. I started sixth form at the end of summer and during my half term, he was hospitalised. Every time I went to the hospital to visit, he'd act strong, talk to me about the subjects I'd picked at school and assure me that everything would be fine. He passed away on February 10th the next year, I was SHOCKED. I knew he was ill but I didn't think Grand Daddy could die. I thought to myself, "Has Death no respect?" He'd kept my school report cards from the day I started school but he wasn't going to see me graduate? I was gutted. Ever since the day I found out he'd passed, a phrase has stuck with me and it's "Life is transient"

A group of my friends and I were talking, I told them that I thought I hadn't been my real self since I started university and I think I'd found my real self again. Someone then asked who my real self was, I realised that I'd just said that sentence and I couldn't even explain who my real self was. Another friend came to my rescue and said she thought of my real self as very calm and generally sendless. I think that was a very apt description of the person I am right now. I've been really stressed out lately, occurrences have made me almost question my faith but the phrase that stuck with me that has now become my motto has always come to my rescue. I get upset for 5 minutes and then I get upset at myself for even getting upset in the first place because I've realised finally that nothing majorly life changing has happened to me. I don't have a right to sulk or burden myself with grief or bitterness. 

Thinking of life as transient and unpredictable isn't necessarily the best school of thought though because nowadays when things happen, my first reaction is to take it as it is, for that is life. Breathe in, breathe out, keep it moving. A bit too simple a reaction but really, that's life. I'd burden myself with the task of trying to understand what life is and what my purpose is and what my end will be but I'm not interested in finding those answers anymore. I'm just trying to live a good life, praying, laughing and showing gratitude for lesser worries. 

The point I'm trying to pass across is to think of life as a journey. A journey with cycles. Simple harmonic motion, peaks & troughs. Remember to treat the troughs just like you treat the peaks, with gratitude. The troughs help you appreciate the peaks & no matter how bad, life goes on. When all the cards are against us, we can't freeze time. It just keeps going on & all the bullets keep hitting us. Just think of it as a journey, it doesn't last eternity. You'll close your eyes one day and commence another journey so whilst you're on this one; Brace yourself! Breathe In, Breathe Out & keep you faith up.

Lots of love,

Onyi.