TIME TO REFUEL!

I've spent the last 2 weeks of the year holidaying. Waking at mid-day, eating lots of food, drinking merrily and visiting family. For the first time in these 2 weeks, my body was propelled to rise at 5am (thanks to the dragonfly like insect that found its way into my room!). I realised it's the 31st of December, last day of the year! It's the time of the year that calls for somber reflection and re-fueling my drive.

All through December, I've tried to reflect on the year. I started to feel like I hadn't set any clear goals at the start of the year. I then looked at my diary and I realised that 2013 was a year of immense growth for me. Towards the end of 2012, I felt I needed a platform to express myself, I started Life Atelier at the start of the year. I set an academic goal and I feel indebted to God for helping me achieve that. I feel undeserving most times but I'm forever thankful for my many blessings. My relationship with family has blossomed. I'm a lot more outspoken, helpful and understanding. I've tried to free my self from the shackles of relationships that undermine me and I'm glad I finally got the courage to let some people go. 

I made a new friend this year. He brought with him two habits he made me imbibe, happiness and contentment. He never fails to point out all my blessings when I start to feel weary and he's helped to teach me the value of so many things my myopic view once thought to be little. I'm very thankful for my friend and I wish him euphoria, always. 

Over the summer, I took a few pictures and did some write-ups. I wanted to make sure I'd be able to re-live my summer through the blog but halfway through, I stopped. I really need to work on my continuity skills. I need to learn to push myself and create work myself and others can appreciate. This is one of my plans for the new year. People often say that new year resolutions are cliché and you shouldn't wait till the new year to change your lifestyle. Whilst I agree with the latter, I don't agree with the former. I believe resolutions help give structure to your year. You set some goals and you don't rest until you are able to tick them off your 'to-achieve' list. I think it's a great success recipe. I'm making a vision board and I hope it serves as the motivation I want it to be. 

I am learning to allow spontaneity and structure co-exist in my life. Structure to achieve my set goals and spontaneity to fuel my young heart (LOL!). I'm excited for the New year. My religion teaches me to be hopeful and have faith, I am currently bustling with these. I am also praying that with the new year comes, sound health and long life for our families. 

I wish you a very prosperous new year.

Love,

Onyi. 

TIME

Last friday night, I got on a train from London to another city & the weekend disappeared. Time swiftly moved past me. I barely have memories from the weekend. It's Monday now, I'm on a train from Central London back home, all that's on my mind is time.
Do I have time enough to juggle everything on my to-do-list? School work, job applications, volunteering, starting a radio show, keeping a detailed diary, making sure all my relationships are in a good place?

I pick up my phone & I call someone at home. I get told that one of the Reverend's whom I think is a shining star has lost his wife to cancer. I think about his children, they are younger than I am. I think about him, I'm sure he's trying not to break down as he has to be a pillar for everyone else to lean on. I think about what time means to him. Time right now must be so slow. Losing a loved one, grieving for days, weeks, months, years. Wondering when you'd see them again or just accepting that they, like time are gone with the wind.

My mind travels back to earlier in the week, sitting in a 2 hour lecture. I pick up my phone and send out a tweet, "The most ruthless lecture, 9-11, no break, no class exercise, just lecturer talking", In the span of that minute, I see a news pop-up, there has just been a plane crash. People who had no clue they were saying their last good-byes have just bid the earth farewell. I try to distract myself because I can't control my wandering thoughts. I keep imagining how much anguish the victims must have experienced. I tell myself again and again to be prepared for whatever life throws at me. In the wake of me garnering my strength, I hear that someone whom I know is a few years younger than my Father and has kids younger than I am has just passed away from a heart attack.

I relapse & then, I call my mum. She confirms the news. We have a talk about life's transience. I walk back to my sit in the library, time does not stop. I expect that the earth will stand still, but it doesn't. We've just lost so many people who had people who were so dependent on them. Is everyone really replaceable? I ponder on.. and then I finally accept that the the earth will never stop rotating, even in the gloomiest of days. I shock myself even more because in a few hours, I continue to live like nothing's changed. Everyone around me is doing the same.

I look at my wrist watch, time is moving at it's normal pace. I still don't have enough time to completely tick-off my to-do list. I'm still burdened with easing into a fast-paced life & more than ever before I'm lost & confused. I just can't grasp the second & minute hands moving around the clock face or even the flow of sand in an hour glass.

NEED FOR SPEED

I've recently moved from Central London to a less busy area. I however still go to school in Central. Whilst in full trot mode to make it on time to my activities of the day, these words were jumbling in my head;

Motion,

Swift movements in my youth.

Rush,

My love for the rush from Adrenaline.

Void of fear,

The closer I am to death, the more I feel alive.

Cynical view on life, 

Belief that I run this race alone. 

For what would life be in retrospect if speed is not a part of my youth? 

I don't want to crave the wild oats in my senility,

Live, love,

Create memories.

Relish in the strength and swiftness of youth. 

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

SOUL THERAPY: A NIGHT WITH NNEKA

Nneka Egbuna, Daalu!

I am still speechless from watching Nneka and her band play last weekend. The message, the depth, the therapy I so desperately needed to bring me back to earth & keep in touch with my humanity.

I'd had a Samson-esque day (Laughs) at the hair salon. Planned to soften & style my hair so I could look cute for the concert but when texturiser was applied to my hair, it fell out from the roots. I got really upset and emotional, I loved my mane! Anyway, I decided to shave three-quater of my hair and keep it moving. Extremely glad my day ended well.

Nneka's sound art isn't mainstream. It's an infusion of so many different genres; Reggae, Hip-hop, Neo-soul, R&B but the most essential part of her art, the part that has had me smitten is the thought-provoking message she conveys. I start to question my-self & my surrounding. I stop pointing fingers because I realise that I too am guilty, I too have been designed to play an essential role in my immediate surrounding. She is very true to her roots. During her performance she pauses and says in Nigeria's pidgin English, "You fit kill the messenger but you no fit kill the message"

Who are we?
Have we embraced civilisation to the extent that we are imprisoned?
How much do we seek freedom? When will we be free?
Are we suffering in silence?
Are our weaknesses our strengths?
Do we know God in solitude? Do we act him in public?
How dare I judge, when I too dwell in sin?

With Nigeria's diversity and capacity, why are we still suffering?
Is recorded history really the truth?
Are we plagued with civilised armed robbers as leaders?
Have our tradition, our love for our fellow country men, properties and resources been evaded & erased?
How long will it take for us to Love Nigeria?

Questions, still unanswered.

Nneka performing Do You Love Me Now

If you haven't ever listened to Nneka's work, I'd recommend her Soul is Heavy Album as a first listen. I decided to start sharing politically inclined work I'd written after listening to this piece of pure genius. Her gift is exceptional and I am extremely glad that I watched her play and saw firsthand how passionate she is about her work. Enjoy!

Love,

Onyi.

HALF OF A YELLOW SUN!!

Finally, the trailer for the movie adaptation of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Half of a yellow sun (One of my favourite books ever) has been released. Some clips from the trailer look a bit too modern for Nigeria in the 1960's & I don't think it has enough of the local flavour but I am still very excited to see the visuals of a piece of work I've pictured in my mind for a long time.
I still wish Nse Ikpe-Etim was cast as Kainene & maybe Genevieve Nnaji as Olanna but it doesn't look like Thandie Newton & Anika Noni Rose did a bad job. Chinwetel Ejiofor delivering a perfect Nigerian accent, Amazing! YES! This is how I always pictured Professor Odenigbo.
I cannot wait for the movie premiere, extremely excited. Finally, the kids get to watch an interesting movie on Nigeria in History class.

Onyi.

ON LIFE: TAKE A DEEP BREATH

I was trying to figure out my bus route today so I got on a bus home. The bus passed through George Street. Now, George Street is important to me because I lived in a flat there with my Grandpa in the summer of 2009. He used to take walks a lot that summer. I remember bumping into him a couple of times on my way back home from playing with friends or being a regular 16 year old (Laughs). That was the last summer I spent with him. I started sixth form at the end of summer and during my half term, he was hospitalised. Every time I went to the hospital to visit, he'd act strong, talk to me about the subjects I'd picked at school and assure me that everything would be fine. He passed away on February 10th the next year, I was SHOCKED. I knew he was ill but I didn't think Grand Daddy could die. I thought to myself, "Has Death no respect?" He'd kept my school report cards from the day I started school but he wasn't going to see me graduate? I was gutted. Ever since the day I found out he'd passed, a phrase has stuck with me and it's "Life is transient"

A group of my friends and I were talking, I told them that I thought I hadn't been my real self since I started university and I think I'd found my real self again. Someone then asked who my real self was, I realised that I'd just said that sentence and I couldn't even explain who my real self was. Another friend came to my rescue and said she thought of my real self as very calm and generally sendless. I think that was a very apt description of the person I am right now. I've been really stressed out lately, occurrences have made me almost question my faith but the phrase that stuck with me that has now become my motto has always come to my rescue. I get upset for 5 minutes and then I get upset at myself for even getting upset in the first place because I've realised finally that nothing majorly life changing has happened to me. I don't have a right to sulk or burden myself with grief or bitterness. 

Thinking of life as transient and unpredictable isn't necessarily the best school of thought though because nowadays when things happen, my first reaction is to take it as it is, for that is life. Breathe in, breathe out, keep it moving. A bit too simple a reaction but really, that's life. I'd burden myself with the task of trying to understand what life is and what my purpose is and what my end will be but I'm not interested in finding those answers anymore. I'm just trying to live a good life, praying, laughing and showing gratitude for lesser worries. 

The point I'm trying to pass across is to think of life as a journey. A journey with cycles. Simple harmonic motion, peaks & troughs. Remember to treat the troughs just like you treat the peaks, with gratitude. The troughs help you appreciate the peaks & no matter how bad, life goes on. When all the cards are against us, we can't freeze time. It just keeps going on & all the bullets keep hitting us. Just think of it as a journey, it doesn't last eternity. You'll close your eyes one day and commence another journey so whilst you're on this one; Brace yourself! Breathe In, Breathe Out & keep you faith up.

Lots of love,

Onyi. 

ONCE UPON A GARDEN CITY (1)

Every politically conscious Nigerian on the various social network platforms is expressing their disbelief/ disappointment. It is barely 12noon GMT. Videos from the Rivers State House of Assembly have surfaced online and the most popular clip contains a man in a crisp white kaftan and white shoes identified as, Chidi Lloyd, an honorable member of the house of assembly & also the houses’ leader holding the Houses’ mace and pummeling a fellow member, Michael Chinda.

Various news reporters share their versions of the meltdown that has just occurred in the House of Assembly complex. The general consensus is that 5 out of the 32 members of the house of assembly, who are also members of the anti-Amaechi faction of the PDP in the state have decided to impeach the speaker of the house of assembly, Otelemaba Amachree and appoint Evans Bipi as the new speaker.

The pro-Amaechi members there present make their way to government house to let Rotimi Amaechi know that there is a reign of Impunity in the RSHA. They make their way back to the House of Assembly Complex with the governor and that is when Michael Chinda’s assault by Chidi Lloyd ensues. Since it has become an open for all wrestling competition, Evans Bipi goes into town and gathers thugs to help him handle the pro-Amaechi lawmakers.

In a longer version of the video circulated by Sahara reporters, Tele Ikuru, the deputy governor of the state is seen hugging Evans Bipi and asking him to calm down. Bipi is also heard telling Tele Ikuru that he cannot believe that the governor has just supervised the manhandling of his colleagues.

If you have been following the crisis in Rivers State closely, you’d know that there are two factions of the state’s PDP. The faction led by Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi and the faction led by Ezebunwo Nyesom-Wike. Amaechi has had a series of fallouts with Patience Jonathan and most recently the NGF elections drama with Goodluck Jonathan. The Presidency has thus chosen to support the Nyesom-Wike faction and this was made clear by Patience Jonathan at the wedding ceremony of Evans Bipi a few weeks ago when she expressed her love for Nyesom-Wike. Also, there was a court ruling that removed G.U Ake as chairman of the state’s PDP and installed Felix Obuah. This in my opinion was a move by the presidency to destabilize Amaechi’s government.

The Legislative houses in Nigeria have been known to get physical when members sometimes have conflicting opinions. Remember the various House of Representatives fight sessions. This however, is by far the most embarrassing & most barbaric. The problem with Rivers State is a lack of enlightenment. I have heard some of these politicians answer questions posed at them/ speak in general and I’ve thought to myself, “I probably have more knowledge in planning and Implementation that this man does”

I don’t believe that 5 men would have the capability to impeach a serving speaker. My judgement is that the anti-Amaechi faction bought out some members of the pro-Amaechi faction because with the on-goings in the state, impeaching Amaechi was a very strong likelihood. Hence, with more in-house support, the 5 anti-Amaechi lawmakers were able to stage the fiasco.

If I were mature enough by Nigerian standards to hold an office, I wouldn’t want to hold it in Rivers State. Interacting with most of these politicians is very exhausting. You begin to wonder if they just forged school certificates. I believe that most of the men better suited to hold office have chosen to stay entirely out of state politics as it is dominated by Insane, power-hungry & blood thirsty people.

I am anti both factions as I believe neither has the best interest of the state at heart. In all honesty, I don’t care what these politicians do with themselves. My worry however is for the masses. The current state of insecurity would affect businesses, the Rivers State University of Science & Technology is currently on strike & Civil Servants will definitely have their salary payments delayed. Port Harcourt has over the years become a shadow of its self, thanks to militancy and the surge in kidnapping. Port Harcourt does not need this instability! Two men with inflated egos do not have the right to affect the general public due to their personal differences. The charade needs to STOP!  With all the politicking going on now, and our direct access to information via social media, I’m sure come 2015 with a hope for transparency, we know whom not to vote into office.

These men have stashed away enough to afford them exile if situations go horribly wrong; it is we, the masses who will suffer the effect of a run-down city.

I hope Michael Chinda files an attempted murder lawsuit against Chidi Lloyd. He definitely deserves some jail time. The Jonathan’s need to focus more on National issues and less involve themselves in state affairs. Rivers politicians & thugs need to remind themselves that, home indeed is where the heart lies. We need to re-build the garden city not tear it down.