QUESTIONS UNANSWERED; I PLEDGE TO NIGERIA, MY COUNTRY.

United we stand, Divided we fall,
An Ode to Unity I was taught as a little child,
I grew up in a Nation, the elders referred to as Nigeria,
A vast number of them, the "generation of the bewildered" were very reluctant to belong but for Unity sake they obeyed Nigeria's call,
I listened to eye witness accounts of the starvation, pain & death that came upon the East in its first attempt to secede,
These deaths and devastation to the Eastern Land did not ensure that the Sovereign State of Biafra survived,
January 15th '70, we pledged allegiance to the one Nigeria cause,
Why then are we now at the verge of history repeating its self?

I am your sole provider, says the South to the North,
This statement has been provoked by a sect of blood thirsty extremists in the North,
With the emancipation the world enjoys today, how dare you attempt to make a people conform?
Diversity should be a strength but it is in fact the greatest weakness,
An unending tussle for the mantle of power,
Power is violence, or have we forgotten?
We are a marriage based on lies,
So many patriots have been slain in the quest for equalitarianism,
Did they die in vain?
Have we lost control?

Are dwellers pledging to radicalism?
How many divisions will there then be?
Have we given thought to the degree of our diversity?
Some say, "We need a revolution",
Are we ready to dump our fears and lay down our existence?
What really is the solution to our multitude of quandaries?
I pledge to Nigeria, my Country,
United we stand.

SWAGGIN' SINCE '93

When I was 16, I had a lot of hippy dreams. I thought I'd have eloped at 20, well not really run away but secretly get hitched! Don't judge me yet, I had other big dreams. I dreamt I'd be at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and I'd also take creative writing classes. My hippy dreams help my mind explore all the different life possibilities and my grounded dreams keep me in check. I knew at 16 that where ever the wind took me, and how ever delusional my creative mind got, hard work, success and happiness had to be a part of my plan.

I turned 20 today and as I normally do when I achieve milestones, I transitioned into a moment of solitude reflection. Thankfully, I am not living my hippy dream! I still have my head on my neck and Yes, I am at a prestigious university studying Chemical Engineering and even though I wish I hadn't made up my mind so early with regards to what subject I wanted to study, I am thankful for how driven I am to get the best possible grades I can and how much optimism I've built inside of me. 

I am most thankful for my family today and how supportive and tolerant they've been. Many of my friends view me as a very kind person because that is the only side to me they've seen. My family however, have seen all my different phases. When I was 14, I started going through a phase where I just didn't want to talk to anyone. At school, I was the really funny & cool clever girl but every time I was back home for the holidays I'd just walk into my room and only come out when I needed to do something that couldn't be done in my room. Even though I always seemed upset & was never interested in sitting down in the living room with my family, everyone still loved & provided for me. When I was back home last summer, My Grandma was talking about something and I contributed to the conversation, she smiled. On my way back home with my Mum, she said "Grand mummy was so happy to hear you speak, she's probably never really heard your real voice" 

I've grown so much and I am so thankful. I talk now. In fact, I think I talk a bit too much to people I love. I am so much happier in life and I love that it is second nature to put people I love before me. At 20, I'm not entirely sure what exactly I want to do when I graduate but I have ideas and plans. I am proud of all my achievements, I am proud of how strong I have become, I am happy that I've not lived a boring, routined life. I've had a fair share of Young, Wild and Free moments. I am very grateful for all the love family and friends have shown me. I woke up elated, feeling very appreciated and ready to transition into a new phase. In my pursuit of spirituality, I now pray the prayer of Jabez.. I shall not cause pain, I shall indeed be a blessing to all I come in contact with. 

Wishing everyone a great day & God's blessings,

Love,

Onyi. 

ADVERSITY? RISE ABOVE IT.

I know this little girl,
Her friends tell her she is strong,
They've watched life happen to her,
They've seen her meltdowns & they've seen her rise above them,
They've seen her grow.

She thinks to herself, "I need immense strength"
Strength that diminishes her fears,
For she's very frightened by the unknown,
She wonders what her earth sojourn would be like if she had psychic vision,
She wouldn't have to deal with unprecedented turns,
She wants to let loose but she can't help but ponder on what exactly her purpose is.

Constantly worrying has created Insecurities,
Her once shielded sensitive layer has been opened,
Words spoken stick now,
She is unable to laugh off the usual,
Because now, she actually pauses to think, "Is this true?, "Is there a possibility?".

She set a standard in her mind which, she fears she may not be living up to,
Maybe her woes stem from watching everyone else grow and feeling static,
It may be from all the pressure around her,
She wants to close her eyes, say a prayer, breathe out and have life easy,
But what would life be void of adversity?

I tell her that she might find her greatest strength to be not breaking in these seemingly tough times,
She knows she has a gift but she needs to believe in its ability,
I reassure her that however chaotic the journey may be,
At her destination, it will all be worth it,
For that is Life.

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH LONDON

I Love London!

It's my favourite city. To live and go to school in Central London is so exciting!

So excited to be spending my youth in a beautiful place with historical importance. 

I'll stop gushing about this endroit magnifique as I don't want to make you more jealous than you already are, ha!

My big sister turned 23 a few weeks ago and we went out to drinks at Madison London. It's a rooftop bar/restaurant in St. Paul with an amazing view of London. I had a very pleasant night looking over my lovely city. 

Can't wait until I go back in the summer.

Wishing everyone a lovely week.

Happy Easter People!

FREEDOM

I walked a distance today,

An effort to clear my mind and perhaps find worthy inspiration,

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Oo, the joys of freedom.

My body is free, 

But my mind.. my mind is not free, I think.

Sometimes I feel like a slave, a slave to my emotions.

I can't have it all.

In my little stroll,

The one with whom I have created an unforgettable memory keeps springing up in thought,

Can I not have a moment alone?

A moment of clarity? 

This is the bitter cup of a fixation,

The inability to be expressive,

The power of a subject so fickle,

For fear of letting the guard down and shattering the just re-built wall.

This cage the mind is bolted in is self created,

For any recurrent thought is so because the mind allows it,

As I take steps in the wind,

I find that indeed both mind and body in unison sing The Joys of Freedom! 

FOR CHINUA ACHEBE: UNFORGETTABLE YOU ARE

I sat at lunch with a friend on the 21st of March, 2013, we hadn't caught up with each other in a long time so our lunch date was very long. We spoke about everything possible. My friend is one of the people who regret that the secession of Biafra was not successful, so as usual he brought the topic up. Somehow, we found ourselves talking about Pa Chinua Achebe. I said, "Hmm, Chinua Achebe is like our Mandela, if he dies, I'd cry a bucket full of tears"

I woke up on the 22nd of March, 2013 to the news that indeed Pa Chinua Achebe had passed on.
In "Things fall Apart", he wrote, "Okonkwo was well known throughout the nine villages and even beyond. His fame rested on solid personal achievements.." Chinua Achebe earned respect, fame and admiration around the world solely because of the quality of his work.

Chinua Achebe's writing had the ability to bring literary characters to life. Whilst reading Things Fall Apart, I felt like I knew Okonkwo, I related to him. When the book was made into a series, Pete Edochie played Okonkwo. Every time I see Pete Edochie in a movie today, the first thing that comes to my mind is Okonkwo!

From Things Fall Apart to No longer at ease to A man of the people, Arrow of God, Anthills of the Savannah, The Problem with Nigeria and There was a Country, I was always left spell bound. It was impossible to not finish reading anyone of his novels. His descriptive ability intrigued my mind and let my imagination run wild. In my entire life, I have not highlighted as many paragraphs as I did whilst reading his Personal history of Biafra. It breaks my heart that in his lifetime, he did not see the change he had hoped for Nigeria. The corruption he wrote about in "No Longer at Ease" is still the order of the day in an even worse magnitude.

Today, I celebrate the life of the genius that is Pa Chinua Achebe. I am thankful that his work is a source of Inspiration and gives me an Insight. He set a moral standard for us, Integrity over everything! he displayed this in the honesty of his work and his refusal to accept National honours.

Through unequalled lenses,
He predicted the future,
He proffered solutions to the future's dilemma,
But no mind was paid.

He watched his homeland grow to greatness,
He watched it shatter to the ground,
His heart was heavy,
All he had left were memories.

Memories of a time when his home was peaceful,
A time when he & his contemporaries were overflowing with hopes and dreams,
A place of great potential.
Now, he is resting, shall we let his dreams die?

Adieu Albert Chinualumogu Achebe.

Unforgettable you are. 

ON ADULTHOOD: ALL TOO FAST?

I turn 20 in a month and 4 days.
Whilst I can't fully relate to the plight of a twenty-something year old with regards to making life changing decisions such as Career paths, Marriage, general Independence and all of the things that come with being a young adult in the real world, I can however relate to the Unsurety and Fear that accompany these things.

I was watching the Season Finale of Lena Dunham's twenty-something project "Girls"
One of the characters Hanna is having a really difficult time being Independent and she says;
"You know when you're young and you drop glass, your Dad says get out the way so you can be safe while he cleans it up. Well, now no one really cares if I clean it up myself, no one really cares if I get cut with the glass. If I break something, no one says let me take care of that, You know?"

I'm only 20, I'm still on my Parents payroll, I don't have to make a choice with regards to my career path now, I still have 2 summers of Internships, my Parents still call to check up on me but I still feel like I need to clean up my glass by myself. My Second year at University hasn't been so amazing, I certainly have not made any ground breaking discoveries, I'm not even sure I've learnt anything new and this really worries me because I like to learn, I love to feel like I am making progress but my life feels so static now.

I hate that I have to go to lectures where I don't even understand a word the lecturer is saying due to how poor his/her delivery is, I don't even get tutorials at my Uni so I cannot even consolidate on the work I am being taught. I fall asleep every time I try to revise because it all just seems so pointless. I've not always been like this though. Once Upon a time, I had teachers who taught so well, I enjoyed reading through my notes, my average percentage was always overwhelming and I was always satisfied!

No one knows I'm this frightened because I never speak about it. I always laugh it off. I love to make jokes about the things I'm most frightened about. My School work is one of the most Important things to me. It is the field were I stand out, If I cant stand out anymore then how exactly am I going to differentiate myself? A number of people have high expectations of me, I don't want to let them down, I cannot let myself down either so I have decided to juice this lemon life has thrown at me. I have decided to face my fears, convince my mind to accept optimism and work as hard as is humanely possible. That's what adults do! They Push! They Push because they do not have an option, they push because they are solely responsible for themselves and maybe others. It's time to do some growing up, Its time to start cleaning up those glass pieces myself and not worry if anyone cares about me cleaning it up alone or getting cut.

Your Mindset is everything, convince your mind to Push because that is the only option. Lets see what happens.

Have a great day every one!

Love,

Onyi.